


The Precipice

by pinkhairnoshoes



Series: Daddy, Papa, and Me [2]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Peter Parker, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Artist Steve Rogers, Corporal Punishment, F/M, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Human Experimentation, Hydra (Marvel), Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Long Live Feedback Comment Project, M/M, Panic Attacks, Parent Steve Rogers, Parent Tony Stark, Past Child Abuse, Past Torture, Peter Parker Has Nightmares, Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Siblings, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Superfamily, Superfamily (Marvel), Superhusbands, Superhusbands (Marvel), Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2019-11-14 02:05:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18043382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkhairnoshoes/pseuds/pinkhairnoshoes
Summary: Steve Rogers finds out his has a daughter and that Hydra has just murdered her parents.----“Babe, I haven’t been honest about why I’m down here.”Radio Silence.“Listen. It’s not anything bad.”He pauses and there’s more silence on the other end.“There’s a kid at the SHIELD facility. My kid. My DNA. That woman I dated before you. She was pregnant when we broke up. I swear I didn’t know. I would have stayed with her. Raised that kid even if it made me miserable being in a straight relationship.”Tony sighs.“It’s a little girl, Tony. She’s six or five. Maybe it’s five. She looks just like my mom. Only she has brown eyes. She’s tiny like Peter is. Her parents are dead. Suspected murder by Hydra. I can’t leave her. I want—I want us to raise her. I want to adopt her.”“How long have you known?”“Days. Since Coulson stopped by. I know I shouldn’t have lied about why I was going to DC. I wanted to check it out first. Not drag you into it before I was sure. But then I saw her and I knew she was my kid. I felt something. Tony I’m sorry. You have to understand.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! I promised in Haunted Vacation that Tony, Steve, and Peter will return so here we are. You don't need to read the previous story to read this one.

Steve paced around the living-room of their Condo in DC. He had come down there a few days ago telling Tony he had business at the SHIELD headquarters. It was a property Tony bought not long after they got married. When it became apparent that Steve still needed to spend a week or two a month in town working at headquarters. Tony was less than impressed with the apartments they toured. After a small argument that Steve easily lost, Tony was on the phone with a real estate agent and setting up an appointment to tour luxury condos.

So this place was bought and Tony tried to decorate it in the modern style he prefers but Steve convinced him to let him do it on his own. Well, mostly on his own, Tony did hire one of the premier mid-century modern experts from New York to style the place. Even though the place was uniquely Steve’s style everything in it reminded him of his husband. 

Steve was calling home every night to talk with his family. The guilt over lying to Tony was getting to be too much. He wasn’t here for work at all and eventually he would have to tell him the truth. So Steve picks up his phone like he does every night at eight and presses the button to call his husband. Once the pleasantries are out of the way and he’s listened to Peter’s story about his day, he decides to come clean to Tony.

“Babe, I haven’t been honest about why I’m down here.”

Radio Silence. 

“Listen. It’s not anything bad.”

He pauses and there’s more silence on the other end.

“There’s a kid at the SHIELD facility. My kid. My DNA. That woman I dated before you. She was pregnant when we broke up. I swear I didn’t know. I would have stayed with her. Raised that kid even if it made me miserable being in a straight relationship.”

Tony sighs.

“It’s a little girl, Tony. She’s six or five. Maybe it’s five. She looks just like my mom. Only she has brown eyes. She’s tiny like Peter is. Her parents are dead. Suspected murder by Hydra. I can’t leave her. I want—I want us to raise her. I want to adopt her.”

“How long have you known?”

“Days. Since Coulson stopped by. I know I shouldn’t have lied about why I was going to DC. I wanted to check it out first. Not drag you into it before I was sure. But then I saw her and I knew she was my kid. I felt something. Tony I’m sorry. You have to understand.”

“I’m coming down there.”

“What?”

“I’m coming down there. You’re not doing this alone.”

“I—uh—thanks. Are you bringing Peter?”

“No, I’ll see if May and Ben will take him for a couple days.”

“Ok fine, see you soon.”

*****

Steve paced the modestly-sized great room nervous as he waited for Tony to show up. He would be here any minute and there would be a confrontation. He goes to the window and pulls back the drapes to peek out at the road. He startles as the door pulls open. Tony walks in and doesn’t acknowledge him and instead walks to the bathroom.

“I really have to piss.”

Steve perches himself on the edge of the couch, body angled towards the bathroom and waits for Tony to re-emerge. Tony exits the bathroom still as full of energy as when he came in the condo. Steve wonders how many coffees he had on the four or maybe five hour drive there. Tony pauses in front of Steve. He probably likes this. Steve being the one sitting as he stands over him. 

“So when do I get to meet her?”

“You don’t want to talk more? Over the phone, you didn’t seem happy.”

“I had the whole ride to think about this. I love you but you’re an idiot, Steve I get that. You have a big heart and you think with it.”

“Did you compliment sandwich me?”

“Not right now. I’m still talking. Now I don’t remember what I was saying.”

Steve gets up and goes to the kitchen, making both of them glasses of water. He hands one to Tony before sitting on the couch. 

“How was the drive?”

“The usual traffic. So this kid, do you have pictures? Boy? Girl? You’ve told me nothing.”

“I didn’t? I thought I did on the phone earlier. A little girl. Here,” Steve takes his phone out and projects the image into the air. He scrolls through it, the one from the file, and ones he’s taken in the facility.

“You says she looks like your mom?”

“Yeah, like all the pictures of my mom when she was younger.”

“How old is she?”

“Five. Almost six. I think it would be a good age for a sibling for Peter. They won’t be too far apart.”

“Your stubborn ass has already made up your mind?”

“Tony, I’m sitting here with you now asking your opinion,” Steve says as he leans forward and wrings out his hands.“Her name’s Beverly Rose. Born September 30th, 2003. She’s a really sweat kid. She’s polite. I’ve spent a lot of time with her. She’d fit in with our family.”

Tony sets his glass down on the table. “Let’s go then. I want to meet her.”

*****

“Steve!” the little girl exclaims as he comes in the room. Beverly jumps up from a spot where she is playing with other girls to run up and run to him. She launches into his arms as he encases her in them. She looks up at Tony as he pulls out of the hug. 

“Is this your husband?” Beverly asks remembering Steve talking about him during previous visits. He had even brought along some children’s books about gay families to read with her.

Tony stiffens as she hugs him, he reluctantly puts an arm around her when Steve gives him a disapproving look. 

“I’m going to sign her out,” Steve says as he goes up to the reception desk.

Steve leads them to a vending machine outside a conference room. Beverly’s eyes light up as she sees the bright packages of the ice cream bars and ice cream cones.

“Pick something out Bevie.”

She points to a strawberry shortcake ice cream bar. “The strawberry one.”

Steve puts in his card and keys in the code. With a big smile on her face she grabs it from the machine. Tony gets an ice cream cone and Steve gets a toasted almond ice cream bar. They go into a sterile looking meeting room with its grey walls. Steve unwraps her ice cream for her before doing his. They chat as they eat their dessert.

“How do you like school? What grade are you in now?”

“Kindergarten. I go in the morning. I like the toys and snack time.” 

“And you go to daycare afterwards?”

“Everyday.”

“Do you live in D.C?”

“No in Alexandria. It’s in Virginia.”

They watch her eating messily getting the ice cream all around her mouth and cheeks. Silence falls over the room and Tony decides to fill it.

“You remember Peter’s first day of kindergarten? He was so nervous to go and you were worried he would cry.”

“But after we talked to the teacher he ran in there to play with some other kids.”

“I remember you crying.”

“That was my little boy growing up. Of course I cried. It was harder when he started first grade and went all day.”

“Have many kids do you have?”

Tony raises his eyebrow at Steve and wonders how he’ll answer. Did he not tell the girl that he’s her father?

“Steve.”

“Not yet, Tony. We have a son Peter. He’s not much older than you,” Steve says turning his attention back to his daughter.

They finish their ice cream and Steve stands up and walks over to the sink. He grabs some paper towel and wets it. He walks back over to his daughter and starts to clean her face and hands. He laughs as he finds ice cream in her hair. He points it out to Tony before cleaning it up.

“How did you manage that baby?”

“What?”

“Getting it in your hair?”

“I don’t know.”

Steve kisses her forehead and smiles over at his husband. Tony feels worried because he knows that look. Steve has already made up his mind about adopting her. He’d have to accept it. They could manage two kids. Probably. Steve would never forgive him if he said no. 

*****

Beverly sits on the olive green couch listening to the hush voices from within the study. The words she did make out sounded angry and she knew the argument was about her. The instruction her mother gave her were clear. Captain America was her real father and he would come get her. She wouldn’t be able to see her parents anymore but he would raise her and be kind to her. 

Her mother must have been mistaken, maybe she didn’t know Steve was married. That his husband didn’t want another child, especially not her. She could make that much out from the conversation. Gathering up her few belongings, Beverly sits down on the floor and pulls her sandals on. She struggles with the straps for a minute, it was a skill she hadn’t quite figure out yet. She stands up and flexes her foot they at least felt passable. 

Beverly is careful to not make any noise as she opens the door and slips outside. She wanders down the hall and finds the door to the stairs but it’s too heavy for her to pull open. So she heads back in the other direction and finds the elevator. She could just reach the buttons and she remembered her mother explaining that the ground floor would have a star next to the number.

*****

Steve storms out of the study and into the living-room. After calming himself down, he starts to look around for Beverly. Tony looks around their condo as Steve starts searching the hallway and the common areas of the building.

Steve finds her downstairs sitting with the door man. The doorman says he stopped her because he figured she looked too young to be going outside alone. He didn’t recognize the kid so he didn’t know who to call. The doorman was a friendly person, an older black gentleman who Steve had gotten to know over the years. He was in his fifties, born in Baltimore. He lost his wife to cancer last year. His son was grown and lived on the West coast working for some tech company.

“Oh thank God. Ron, I can’t thank you enough.” He picks Beverly up and holds her close. “Where were you going?”

She shakes her head and avoids his gaze.

“It’s no problem. You don’t have your little boy with you?” Ron inquires.

“No, no Peter is back in New York with his aunt and uncle.”

Ron watches him expectantly waiting for more of an explanation on the little girl. Beverly is starting to slide down his hip so he adjusts her in his arms.

“Tony and I are looking to expand our family. This little one should be returning to New York with us soon.”

A little smile breaks across Beverly’s face. On second thought, her mother was right and Steve would take her home.

“Thank you again,” Steve says as he picks Beverly up.

Steve has a flurry of emotions running through his head as he carries her upstairs. It had been mere months since Peter’s near drowning. Tony’s words are running through his head. He hated the implication of them. His husband blamed him for Peter’s disappearance. Steve was the one watching him that morning. You’re not fucking watching her? You’ve lost another a kid? It wasn’t really what had said but Steve fills in the negativity in his head.

He knew it was Tony’s coping mechanism. Saying shitty things like that. He didn’t mean it but Steve couldn’t push it from his mind. It hurt. He’d never get over the guilt of not double checking Peter’s bed. It was all he had to do and it would have taken seconds. And today, he was too busy screaming at his husband to notice another kid slip out the door. 

He knows he’s responding poorly when he sets her on her feet and grabs her chin so she’s facing him. “Don’t you ever, ever, leave this condo without telling someone again. Is that understood?”

Tears pour out of her eyes and she manages to squeak out a yes.

“Steve, stop you’re scaring her,” Tony says as he walks over to them.

“That’s the point.”

“Stop! She gets it,” Tony says.

Steve lets her chin go and pick her up. She cries against Steve’s neck. “I’m sorry Steve. I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

“I’m not mad. You made me worry,” Steve says as he rubs the back of her head. “You’re okay.”

Tony is watching him, arms crossed over his chest. “Why’d you run?”

“Huh?” Steve asks confused thinking the question is for him.

“Kid? Why’d you run?”

“Tony!”

“What? She shows up out of nowhere. You drop everything to come down here. Nothing suspicious about that?”

The girl curls tighter against Steve, tears squeezing out her eyes.

“I’ve explained it to you and SHIELD will show you the files. She’s just a kid,” Steve says getting annoyed.

“I was going back,” the little girl says softly.

“Why?”

“You two were fighting and mad because of me.” 

“Don’t worry about that. We’re not mad at you. Okay?”

She nods at him, her face red and her cheeks wet with tears. Steve turns towards Tony fixing him with a look, ready to return to arguing when the kitchen timer goes off. Tony turns and goes to pull the pan out of the oven. He slams it a little too loudly on the stove top and starts to pull out plates. They clatter loudly as he sets them on the counter top. He huffs as he starts to make up three plates. Two big, and one small just like how he would make it for Peter.

He senses Steve standing close behind him as he picks up two of the plates and walks around him to set the table. Steve trails behind him. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispers.

“It’s always I’m sorry with you,” Tony says doing his best to ignore him as he goes back and forth from the kitchen to the table. He didn’t really know what he was doing down here. He wanted to be back home with Peter. It was always hard when they had to leave for a mission or had to be out of state for SI business. It honestly wasn’t where he envisioned his life would be ten years ago. Marriage wasn’t something for him, he enjoyed the freedom of being single. Somehow the stubborn soldier with a godlike body had changed his life.

Kids were never a consideration until Steve had mentioned it in passing and gave his husband time to think about it on his own. Tony was afraid of being a poor father just like Howard. Steve had his own fears as well. Raising a child in this new strange world where so much had changed seemed daunting. The fact that they had jobs that put their lives on the line everyday also made him reconsider. One seemed to be a perfect number for them. Even with the drowning scare it felt like they were doing a good job with Peter. They had the resources to raise more. Tony could hire an army of nannies but they wanted to be involved parents. 

Tony observes his husband setting his daughter down in a chair, leaning over and giving her options of drinks to have with dinner. She’s asking for chocolate milk and Steve is lying to her like they do so many times with Peter. There’s none left, only plain milk at the moment. Tony starts to eat as Steve is begins doling out drinks. Steve sits across from him and just stares for what seems like a full minute before eating.

 

*****

The kitchen is cleaned up and they’re sitting on the couch letting their food digest. 

“When should we start heading back to headquarters?” Tony asks from his spot on the recliner.

“We’re not.”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s half past seven—”

“What do you mean it’s half past seven?”

“It’s half past seven and I’m going to get Bevie in the bath and start getting her ready for bed.”

“Steve,” says a familiar voice.

They both turn when they realize they aren’t alone in the room. Natasha and Clint are standing just in the threshold of the door.

“Romanoff. Barton,” Tony says as he stands up.

“Hi Beverly,” Natasha says leaning down so she’s at her level. “Why don’t you go play in Peter’s room so I can talk to Steve and Tony?”

She focuses on Steve next while Clint silently takes in the room.

“Steve. You can’t keep signing her out and keeping her overnight. Fill out the paperwork. Make it official and we don’t have to keep doing this.”

Tony crosses his arms and looks over at Steve. Biting his tongue and not saying a wiseass remark to his husband. Tony can see the pain behind Steve’s eye, he can see the thoughts running through his head. “Steve,” he says softly as he sits on the couch by him and wraps his arm around him. “Listen, we have to follow the rules for this. She’s a minor.”

“She gets scared at night. They have her in a secure room for an Inhuman. It’s not a kids room. The walls are dark and plain. She told me she doesn’t want to stay there at night and I’m suppose to ignore that? She’s my kid.”

“Bring her by in the morning. Do the paperwork and it’s all done,” Clint says.

“We’re on your side here. I’m already pulling some strings. You can understand how it looks?” Natasha adds.

They disappeared as quickly as they appeared, leaving Steve and Tony in an awkward silence. Steve is asking the world of him and Tony is finding it harder and harder to deny him.

“My parents are long dead. Same with Bucky. And Peggy…Peggy is slowly starting to forget things. She’s not always aware of what age we are or where she’s at. Besides you and Peter what do I have?”

Tony rests his head against Steve’s and takes a moment to think instead of responding with the first thought that pops into his head. All the sounds in the room are amplified. The beating of their hearts, the hum of the refrigerator, the second hand of the clock on the wall, the quiet lull of traffic from the street below.

Steve is using all his self control to hold back and not say, if you loved me you would do this. It’s a phase that never ends well. The ultimatum where you hope they’ll choose you but it’s a losing battle. The other person will walk away and leave you in pieces. He had been alone since he was eighteen he knew how to manage. How to get through life without depending on anyone else. Something hurt deep in his chest, in his throat. If he pushed Tony too far would he just leave? Take their son and leave Steve to be alone again? He couldn’t raise Beverly on his own. If he was going to do it he would need Tony at his side.

Steve is so deep in thought, he doesn’t realize the tears spilling down his face and the breath he’s holding in. He doesn’t notice until Tony is kissing him and telling him everything will be alright. Tony presses his face against Steve’s. “I’ll think on it. Give me a night. You’ve sprung this on me. I can’t. I can’t make a decision like this in a couple hours. Having a little girl could be good for us. Good for Peter.”

“Steve?” Beverly calls from down the hall. Steve wipes his eyes, and his face becomes a mask with none of the previous emotions on it. A smile spreads across his face as he leans down and opens up his arms. Beverly runs towards him and he picks her up.

“Ready for your bath, little girl?” 

******

 

The next morning. Tony is having trouble sleeping and it’s a rare occurrence where he’s up and out of bed before Steve. He makes coffee and sits on the couch in silence. Thinking through the past day and deciding if he can really manage raising another child. He stands up as he hears footsteps coming down the hall. Beverly walks up to him in an old pair of Peter’s pajamas, she holds up her arms as she reaches him. Just like Peter does on so many morning, wanting to be held close before starting the day. Tony could relate it did make the day slightly better. He picks her up and she cuddles into him like a snake wrapping around its meal.

“Good morning, Daddy,” she says softly into his neck. He questions if he heard her correctly.

“What’s that?”

“I know. Mommy told me before she left me. Tim isn’t my father. They had to leave but I’d be safe with my real father, Steve Rogers. He would pick me up from SHIELD. I waited a couple days but he did come. He doesn’t know that I know. You’re my dad too, right? You’re his husband. When can I see Mommy again?”

The girl was smart, she knew way more of what was going on than Tony expected. She either thought her parents faked their death or no-one had told her. He didn’t want to be the one to deliver that news. He remembered the day, no the very second he was sat down and someone delivered the news about his parents fatal car accident. There was no way he could be the one to give her that news. A new problem was surfacing though. She knew Steve was her father. If they didn’t adopt her it would feel like losing another parent. This tiny little interaction was enough to make up his mind. Beverly was a child just like he was when he lost his parents. She, just like he did, needed the right people to look out for her and protect her.

“You can call me Daddy if you want. I don’t know when you’ll see your mother again. SHIELD has that information.”

No, he couldn’t tell her even if it meant lying to her. He sits on the couch with her. She makes herself more comfortable and closes her eyes. Tony tells Jarvis to turn on television to local news, mute it and turn on subtitles. 

Tony is starting to doze off when Steve comes in the room and shuts off the television. The local reporter was outside Beverly’s childhood home detailing the mysterious death that happened. Two adults and one child dead from apparent carbon monoxide poisoning. Steve didn’t want his daughter to find out that way. Especially since she was the ‘dead’ child in question. To protect her, SHIELD had faked her death and destroyed her old identity. A new history was created and they were waiting on signatures to create her identity as Steve and Tony’s adopted daughter. Beverly Rose Stark and her past would be permanently sealed. And by sealed, they meant destroyed in a fire and unrecoverable.

“Steve?”

Steve drops the remote on the table and turns towards his husband. He can’t help the smile that spreads across his face as he watches Tony cuddling with his daughter. He sits on the couch and leans in to kiss Tony on the lips. “Thank you,” he whispers against Tony’s lips.

“Just because I’m holding your kid doesn’t mean I’m signing anything.”

“I love you,” Steve whispers before kissing him again knowing that Tony’s hard edges weren’t as sharp as he tried to portray them to be.

“She knows you’re her father.”

“You told her?”

Tony feels the steady rise and fall of her chest against his. She’s still asleep or very good at faking it.

“Her mother told her. They knew something was going to happen. Left her somewhere safe. Told her you would come get her. I’m not going to be the person that takes that away from her.”

Steve relaxes against his husband and wraps an arm around them enjoying the warmth and comfort.

 

****

As they are finishing up breakfast, their living room is suddenly filled with agents. Fury, Hill, and Coulson among others. Tony gets up to refill his coffee cup.

“I’m not a fan of you guys showing up unannounced on my properties.”

“Tony,” Steve chastises as he starts piling up dirty plates into the sink.

“What do you want?” Tony asks not caring about niceties. 

“You’ll want to move the kid to another room before we talk,” Fury says.

Steve returns to the table and leans down whispering something in Beverly’s ear. He kisses the top of her head before she runs off to Peter’s room. Most of the agents head back outside as Hill, Coulson, and Fury sit at the table. Tony breaks out the coffee pot and some cups. He’s not happy with them being here but he’s still a good host. Coulson is pulling out all the paperwork for them to sign.

“We believe Hydra knows Beverly is alive and still in DC. They want her to experiment on. To see if the serum is passed down through reproduction or if something has to trigger it. An external trigger or puberty. If it is passed on through reproduction, they may try impregnating her,” Coulson starts to explain.

“Christ. She’s five.”

“10. 11. As soon as she has her first period. It would be a horrific life for her.”

Tony stands up suddenly and starts to head out of the room. Everyone turns towards him and watches him leave. He returns a minute later with a thin felt covered box that he opens up the reveal two expensive looking pens. 

“Show me where to sign.”

“I’ll hire someone to drive my car and the motorcycle back. I’ll get on the schedule today to fly out on my private jet. We’ll return to New York.”

“We recommend getting off the East coast entirely and laying low for a few months.”

“I’ll have someone prepare the house in Malibu. It’s secluded.”

“We’d have to pull Peter out of school,” Steve says.

“We’ll get the kids in something private. Where celebrities send their children and everything is kept as private as possible.”

“It’s still going to be an adjustment for him,” Steve says as Tony passes him another paper to sign.

“You worry too much,” Tony says continuing to sign documents in what seems like an endless pile.

“The birth certificate should be ready in a few weeks. They’ll mail it out to you. Our legal team will file everything with the court.”

*****

They split up, Tony going back to New York to retrieve Peter and pack their things. Steve going directly to the house in Malibu with Beverly.

Peter is really upset when Tony tries to explain that he’ll be going to a new school and they won’t be living in the NYC for the year. His mood only gets worse as Tony tries to explain to him that he will be a big brother. That Tony and Steve have adopted a little girl. He spends most of the plane ride being surly and crying. Mad at his parents for not asking him if he wanted a little sister. Tony is at his wit’s end when they get to the house. Tony finds the house empty as Happy helps him carry in suitcases. Happy gets the suitcases to their rooms before heading out.

“Okay Peter. Nap time. Go to your room.”

“It’s not my room and I’m not going.”

“Excuse me?”

Peter hurls his paperback book at Tony hitting him right in the face. It falls to the ground with a thud.

“Are you kidding me right now?” Tony scolds as he leans down to Peter’s level and grabs his shoulders roughly.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Peter says trying to avoid Tony’s penetrating gaze.

“Hit me again and see what happens,” Tony threatens as he straightens up and starts to lead Peter towards his room. He hurls the heavy suitcase from the floor onto the bed and opens it. Digging around from summer pajamas to put Peter into. He pulls them out and returns the suitcase to the floor. He turns towards Peter and jerks his shirt off more roughly than he’s intending.

“Ow!” Peter cries and Tony pauses watching him concerned. “My arm,” Peter cries as he clutches his left arm with his right.

“Shit, kid, I’m sorry. Let me see,” Tony says reaches out for his arm. Peter steps back and grabs his pajama top.

“You hurt me! I want to dress myself!”

“Let me at least make sure you’re okay.”

“No!” Peter says as he backs away from him more.

Tony groans and leans back on the bed, covering his eyes with his hands. Peter’s bad attitude all day had his nerves wearing thin. He hears the sound of Peter’s pants hitting the tile floor.

“You better not be leaving your clothes on the floor. Fold them and put them on the dresser.”

“Do I really have to sleep?” Peter says as he begrudgingly folds his clothes.

“Yes. If I have to listen to you whine and cry for another hour I’ll actually be liable to give you something to cry about.”

Tony sits up as Peter is crawling into the bed. He stands up and tucks Peter under the covers.

“In all seriousness I’m not going to but you need a nap,” Tony says as he leans down to kiss his forehead. “Your arm really ok?”

“Yeah, it just hurt for a second. I’m fine now. I’m not tired,” Peter says.

“Try to sleep,” Tony says before he tells Jarvis to darken the room.

 

*****

 

Steve walks back with Beverly from a nearby beach. She had been excited to see the ocean and play in the warm sand. She carries a bright yellow bucket full of sea shells and rocks she collected. Steve loads their things onto a table before turning on the water to the outdoor shower. Beverly goes under the water to rinse all the sand and salt off. Steve helps her rinse her hair.

“There’s sand in my bathing suit,” she says pulling it away from her skin. 

“Here, take it off,” Steve says as he starts to help her take it off. The house was so secluded they never worried about letting Peter run around outside naked. So Steve doesn’t even think twice about it. After they both finish rinsing off he grabs towels and they head to the deck to dry out in the sun. Steve grabs his sunglasses and lounges on one of the deck chairs. He closes his eyes and listens to the pitter-patter of little feet hitting the deck as Beverly plays.

Steve sits up quickly as he hears the sliding door open and he turns towards it. A smile spreads across his face before he stands up and goes to his husband and pulls him into a tight hug.

“When did you and Peter get in? I didn’t bring my phone to the beach,” he admits sheepishly.

Tony kisses him and Steve tastes whiskey on him then and he wonders why he didn’t smell it earlier. The salt air was overwhelming his senses perhaps.

Tony notices the look on his face as he steps back. “I only had a glass. Peter was crying the whole flight. And then the car ride here. And then once we got inside.”

“Poor little guy—”

“Poor guy? He hit me in the face with his book.”

Steve stifles a laugh, “he’s in rare form then.”

“He’s being a little psycho.”

“Tony!”

“What? It’s not like I called him that to his face.”

Steve shakes his head and starts to head inside. “Will you watch Bev while I go change?”

Steve heads into the house and Tony sits at the patio table pulling up his phone to go through his emails. Board meeting in the morning, some function Thursday night. Pepper didn’t specify if Steve needed to be there too. It’s important for people to see you’re a family man. The playboy tendencies long in the past. He could use the adoption as a way to get out of it. There was a text from Pepper saying she was going to stop by in the evening. He wonders if she had already been in contact with Coulson and was already working on how they would introduce their next adopted child.

Tony is pulled from his thoughts as Beverly dumps her seashells onto the glass patio table. His first instinct is to yell at her and then check the table for scratches. Her smile would turn into a straight line and her little face would scrunch up before the tears and cries come. He might even spank her. It was something Howard would have done and Tony wondered how deeply it had affected him. After they had adopted Peter, Steve had gone to the library and come home with a stack of parenting books. Tony as per usual gave him a hard time about it and said all the books were ridiculous, however, he did read them in secret. In his workshop, as he waiting for code to compile or tests to run, he would read through them and take down notes. Steve would give him a knowing smile whenever Tony would absentmindedly reference something from one of the books.

A sea shell is shoved really close to his face.

“Tony! Look at this shell!”

He pulls her hand back so he can actually see it. “That’s a nice one. It’s not broken at all.”

Beverly is climbing onto his lap to show him something else. 

“Um honey, where are your clothes?”

“Drying,” she says pointing to her bathing suit hanging off a chair.

“Do you have a towel? You can’t run around like this.”

She runs across the deck to grab her discarded towel. She returns to Tony and holds it out to him. He takes it from her and wraps it around her fastening it like a dress. He pulls her onto her lap so she can continue showing him all her things from the beach.

Steve returns outside in fresh clothes carrying a new outfit for Beverly to wear. He hands them to Tony.

“I know you asked about role-play but I doubt these will fit me.”

Steve kisses his forehead. “Don’t be an ass.”

Beverly giggles at the word. Tony and Steve struggle with the criss-cross straps of her sundress before finally getting it on her.

 

*****

“Can I go in Peter’s room to get a toy?”

“Huh?” Tony asks as he looks up from his work. He was still trying to catch up on what he had missed earlier. No work had been completed on the flight over because of Peter’s behavior. Steve is lying on the couch reading something from the New York Times Bestseller list. Beverly repeats her question and waits expectantly for Tony to answer. He’s distracted and doesn’t really hear her question fully. Thinking she wants to go into her room to grab something.

“Sure, all the toys are for you,” he says as he reads over a report.

Peter wakes up to the sound of toys shuffling in his closet. He opens his eyes slowly and takes a moment to rub the sleep from them. He glances around the room and tries to orient himself. The problem with being the child of a billionaire is that his Dad owned so many properties and they traveled so often that it was easy to wake up in an unfamiliar place. It takes a moment, but he realizes he’s at the house in Malibu. He sees a little girl going through his things and instantly panics. Gone from his mind is the conversation with Tony on the plane about how he would be an older brother and meeting his younger sister today. The only thing he is thinking about is that house in upstate New York with the ghosts. Somehow they had followed him. 

“Dad!” he screams and keeps screaming it. The ghost doesn’t react how he expects, she drops everything in her hands and looks at him horrified. She too starts crying and calling for her Dad. Steve rushes into the room and looks between his two children, not knowing who to go to first. He feels guilty about it but he goes to Peter. That’s his son and he’s been living with them for years now. He would hold Beverly once he got Peter calmed down.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Steve asks as he sits on the bed and tries to pull Peter into his arms. Peter tries to pull out of his arms and starts pounding his fists against Steve’s chest and face. “No! I want Tony!”

“Shh, you’re okay,” Steve assures him when he tries to hug him again. Peter really starts fighting him and kicking at him.

Tony hurries into the room, “What is going on in here?”

He picks Beverly up and tries to calm her down. “Steve?”

“I think Peter is having some kind of hallucination or he’s woken up from a nightmare.”

Tony hurriedly carries Beverly out of the room and into another room. He kisses her forehead before setting her on the couch and having JARVIS turn on cartoons. He wipes her hair out of her eyes. “Hey, are you okay?” He asks softly.

She nods hesitantly at him. “Will you watch your cartoons while I go check on your brother?”

She nods at him again and he kisses her forehead before rushing back into the room. Steve is bent over in pain. “Fuck that still hurts. He kicked me in the nuts. Serum doesn’t help with that.”

Before Tony can go to Steve and ask if he’s okay, Peter is running up to him and wrapping his arms around him.

“Daddy! Make the bad people go away!”

“What bad people? It’s just Papa, me, and your sister here.”

“I don’t have a sister!”

Tony gets down on his knee so he’s at Peter’s level and wipes the tears out of his eyes. “Pete, we talked about this on the plane ride over. Papa and I adopted another child. You’re a big brother now, remember?”

“This isn’t real!”

Tony pulls him close and rubs the back of his head soothingly as he looks up at his husband. Steve looks back at him dejected. He knew Steve wanted to be by his side comforting Peter and it must have hurt to be pushed back like that. 

“I can assure you it’s very real and no-one is trying to hurt you. Your Papa just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Steve sits on the floor tentatively by them, careful not to get too close and spook Peter again. Peter pulls back from Tony and glances over at Steve. “It’s really Papa and not the creature?”

“The creature is gone. He can’t find us here.”

Peter looks like he’s going to start crying again. “I hurt Papa and scared my sister. She isn’t going to like me now.”

“You can start by apologizing to your Papa.”

Steve holds out his arms and pulls Peter into his lap as he gets closer. He wraps his arms around him. “I’m really sorry for kicking you Papa. I was scared.”

“I think I can forgive you,” Steve teases before he covers his face in kisses.

Peter giggles and pulls out of his arms. 

“Ready to meet your sister?” Tony asks as he stands up.

Peter looks between his parents feeling nervous. “No, she’s going to hate me.”

“Come on, buddy,” Tony says as he places a hand on his shoulder and leads him out into the living-room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter gets used to having a little sister but doesn't like it. Steve and Tony deal with the challenges of having two kids. Steve gets called on a mission and Tony has to take care of things on his own.

A few months have passed and they’re getting settled into a routine in Malibu. Tony has been going into Stark Industries daily, coming home in the afternoons to tinker in his workshop. Steve started working in the local SHIELD office. It’s small, nothing compared to headquarters back in DC. He went in early so he could leave in time to pick up the children from school. 

Today he was taking a virtual meeting with Clint, Natasha, and a few other agents. They were discussing a Hydra strong-hold they had been watching in Turkey for months, gathering intel. The plan was to break in within the next month. The mission would take him away for a week, two weeks tops. He worried about leaving Tony for that long with the two kids. Tony tended to get hyper focused and overwork himself. They hadn’t found a nanny in the area yet. It was another thing they would need to get done before he left. The children were playing in the living-room, he had kept the door cracked so he could hear them. Blue Planet was playing in the background, he tried to limit television to educational shows. Although the cartoons always seemed to sneak in.

Steve stands up and walks to the door, peeking out as he hears shouting from the other room.

“Are your kids alright, Cap?” Clint asks.

“Give me a minute,” he says as he mutes his headset and removes it from his ear before placing it on the desk. He takes a deep breath and walks into the other room, finding two screaming children.

“Peter hit me!” Beverly cries holding her hand to her eye.

Steve kneels down and pulls her hand back so he can get a look at the swollen eye that was looking like it was going to bruise.

“But Daddy, I told her not to touch my toys and she wouldn’t listen.”

Steve picks Beverly up and carries her into the kitchen, setting her on the island while he digs through the freezer for a bag of peas. He wraps it in a towel and instruct her to hold her up to her eye.

“Peter, get over here now!”

Peter reluctantly comes in the room still holding the offending toy. He quickly hides it behind his back when he sees Steve eyeing it. “You can not hit your sister, do you understand me?”

He pulls the toy out of Peter’s hands. “Give me that. Is that what you hit her with?”

He nods slowly. “It’s mine, why do I have to share?”

Steve opens the cabinet above the refrigerator and places the toy inside. “You don’t but you can’t deal with it by hurting her.”

Little tears fill his eyes and threaten to spill over. “When can I have it back? I need it.”

“You don’t need it, you want it. There’s a difference,” Steve explains as he picks Beverly up and carries her to the couch. He sets her down and she clings to him wanting him to stay near. She whines as he tries to pull back so instead he sits on the couch and pulls her into his lap. Holding her close until she calms down. Peter walks into the room and stands in front of them feeling jealous that she’s getting attention while he’s not.

“Go sit in the naughty chair.”

“But—”

“Don’t make me repeat myself. Jarvis, set a timer for twenty minutes.”

Peter sits heavily in the chair, letting the tears roll down his cheeks and not bothering to wipe them. Steve eventually gets up and heads into his office but not before warning to Peter that he isn’t to get up not even a second before the timer ends. 

“You back? We’re wrapping the meeting up. Do you have anything to add?”

“Well actually—” Steve begins as he makes everyone stay on the call for another ten minutes. The meeting ends and the intern promises to send out the meeting notes after he finishes editing them. He stands up to check on the children again wanting to make sure the swelling on Beverly’s eye was going down. He’s disappointed to find Peter out of time-out and playing with his toys in the middle of the room. 

“Peter! What are you doing?”

Peter jumps up as Steve call his name and considers going back to the chair to do his time out but it’s too late. He looks down guiltily avoiding his father’s gaze. 

“Playing,” he says softly.

“What did we talk about last time you left time-out early?”

“I’m sorry. I’ll go back into time out,” Peter says as he glances up to gauge Steve’s reaction. He never got in trouble for it before.

“Peter, if you get out of time out you will get a spanking, remember?”

Peter nods sadly. “I won’t do it again.”

Steve sits on the couch and motions for Peter to come over. 

Peter starts walking back to the naughty chair. “I’ll finish my time out.”

“Come over here like I asked.”

Peter shuffles over and stops in front of the couch and looks nervously up at him. He lets out a shocked cry as he’s pulled across his father’s lap.

“No,” Peter begs as he starts to squirm. His body tenses as Steve smacks his bottom a couple times. Tears flood his eyes and Steve is letting him up so he rolls onto his back and starts to rub his stinging behind. Peter did not like having a sibling at all. This was the second time Steve had spanked him and it was all this girl’s fault.

“Papa, you made Peter cry,” Beverly says.

Peter moves away from Steve and buries his face into the couch cushion. Beverly pulls the ice pack away from her eye and holds it out ot her brother. “Here, Peter take this.”

Peter whines and blindly tries to shove her hand away.

Steve leans over Peter and gently grabs Beverly’s face to get a closer look at her eye. “That’s definitely going to bruise, sweetie.”

Steve sits back into the couch letting his head fall against the cushion as he rubs his forehead. He listens to Peter’s muffled cries for a minute before sliding his arm in front of the kid’s chest and pulling him onto his lap. Peter hides his face against Steve’s neck and lets his father rub his back. It was challenging for Steve to follow through with discipline. He ended up with two crying children and it didn’t feel right. He couldn’t get over the idea that all the times he went easy on Peter lead to him wandering off and almost drowning. Both of his children needed a solid and consistent structure. There had to be consequences for actions.

Tony comes home to find Steve fast asleep on the couch and a mess in the kitchen most likely left by their children. The step stool is in front of the fridge, the cabinet above it wide open. The milk is sitting on the table with some of it spilled on the surface. He cleans up after the children and walks into the living-room to observe the mess. The two have taken out every single toy they own. No wonder Steve fell asleep in the middle of the day, two children had tripled the amount of work. Tony was dreading checking the state of the rest of the house.

He makes the kids clean up the room and he goes to his room to change out of his three piece suit into something comfortable and casual. The weather was cooling off as it was late November. The kids were off for Thanksgiving break. After changing into sweatpants and a band t-shirt Tony walks down the hallway to check for more messes. 

*****

The next morning, Steve pads down the hall and into the kitchen filling up his water bottle. He is dressed in joggers and a t-shirt, hoping to get in a run before the rest of the house wakes up. He hears light footsteps coming down the hallway and knows that it’s Peter even before he hears him whine out, “Papa”. He wants attention, he buries his face against Steve’s stomach just as his father turns around. Steve tightens the lid on the bottle before he reaches down to rub the back of his head. 

“It’s early son. Get back in bed I’ll be back home when you wake again.”

It’s as if Peter was waiting for him by the door. Peter’s walking quickly towards him as soon as he gets home.

“Papa how was your run?”

“Good, did you miss me?” he teases.

“Yup,” Peter says as his eyes follow Steve’s trajectory into the bathroom. Steve glances at Tony still asleep in the bed before he starts to undress throwing his running clothes into the hamper. He trudges into the bathroom, opening the shower door and turning on the tap.

Steve steps out from under the spray and slicks his hair back. He isn’t surprised when he looks down to find Peter opening the shower door and coming inside. 

“Joining me?”

Tony spared no expense in the bathroom, the shower was big enough for five people. Marble hexagon tiles and oil-rubbed bronze Shower heads on both side and a waterfall shower head right in the middle. Steve only had the one on, he was trying to take a normal shower. He would have been happy with a tiny fiberglass shower with just enough space to turn around.

“Papa, turn on the waterfall.” Peter runs to the far end of the shower and presses his hand against the tile. “And this one too.”

“No, Pete. We’re taking a quick shower. No playing.”

“Daddy turns them on for me,” he explains trying to bend Steve’s will.

“Should have got in the shower with him instead.”

Peter whips a shampoo bottle over at Steve’s legs. It misses and rolls across the bottom of the shower. Peter had been acting out severely since Beverly had come to live with them. They were working with a new psychologist they found in the area and trying to be more consistent in their discipline.

“Peter! We don’t throw things at each other! Get over here now!”

Peter presses himself against the tiled wall opposite Steve. Before he can yell at Peter again, Beverly opens the shower door and steps in still in her pajamas. So instead of scolding his son he’s heading over to her and pulling her nightgown up and off her body. He discards her clothes in the corner of the shower and goes to turn on the other shower head.

“You really can’t let your Papa shower by himself?”

They both start chanting waterfall and Steve acquiesced. They run under it giggling and shouting each time the spray hits them. “Stop running,” Steve scolds as he tries to wrangle both of them.

Steve feels more worn out than he did after his run. He managed to bathe both children, stop them from fighting and prevent them from slipping and falling. They were dressed for the day and gathered around the table eating cereal. Beverly is standing up on her knees in the chair eating her food. Steve had given up telling her to sit properly. He wanted to eat and read the paper. Peter was complaining about how he wasn’t allowed to sit at the table like that. Steve scolds him when he tries it so he stops after that. Tony is either pretending to be asleep or he’s sneaked past them and is in his workshop.

“Ew, Beverly is picking her nose.”

“Stop that,” Steve says without looking up.

Peter clumsily knocks his cereal bowl over spilling milk across the table as he tries to hit his sister.

“Dammit Peter,” Steve says harsher than he’s intending as he stands up and heads to the kitchen to grab paper towel.

“I’m sorry. It was an accident.” Peter explains tears already threatening to fall.

“I know I didn’t mean to yell at you,” Steve says coming back into the room. Beverly decides to tip her bowl over, giggling as she watches the mess.

“Get up! Both of you. Now. Go stand against the wall.”

Peter and Beverly quickly get up and stand by the far wall. 

“Daddy look at your paper! It looks cool in the milk.”

Peter slaps her arm, “we call him Papa, dummy.”

Beverly rubs her arm and lets out a cry.

“I didn’t even get to do the crossword,” Steve grumbles as he cleans up the mess. Once he’s finished he sits on the couch and pulls up the newspaper on his StarkPad. He’s quietly enjoying himself almost as if he’s having some alone time away from his children and husband.

“Papa, can we go play?”

He looks back at them watching them fidget and he’s surprised they managed to stay still that long. Soon they’re running around while Beverly pretends to be a dog. Barking and all. Steve’s phone rings and he goes outside to take the call.

He wasn’t surprised, he knew he would be called out on a mission soon. He wanted more time to settle in with the kids and he thought they had another couple of weeks. New intel came in and they had to move today or they would miss their opportunity.

“I’m a puppy,” Bev says before barking and rubbing her face against his leg as he comes back in the house.

“That’s nice, sweetie.”

“Can we get a real dog?” Peter asks.

Steve grabs Peter and pulls him into a hug, leaning down and kissing the top of his head.

“Papa, what’s wrong?”

He walk over to the couch, sits down, and calls his children to join him. Peter is keeping close and already crawling onto his lap. Beverly stops playing and stares over at him. A worried look spreads across her face. She comes over and sits at his side.

“Pete already knows the drill. I have to leave for a mission. Do you know what that means, Bev?”

“For your job?”

“Yes Baby. It was supposed to be in another month or so. Daddy and I were going to get things ready but it’s been moved up.”

“Do you have to leave now?”

“Later today, yes.”

Peter wraps his arms around Steve’s neck. 

“Is Daddy going too?” he asks.

“Not this time.”

“I don’t want you to go. Do you have to?”

“Yeah buddy,” he says softly rubbing Peter’s back. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“Tomorrow?” Beverly asks feeling hopeful.

“No baby. If things go well it will be a couple weeks. It could be longer,” Steve explains. He tried to be as truthful as he he could with his kids. Age appropriate of course but Peter was smart and figured things out faster than they anticipated.

Peter starts to cry as he tugs at Steve’s shirt balling it up in his hand.

“Come on, Pete. It will be fine.”

Peter stands up abruptly and runs to his room, yelling that it won’t be.

Steve sighs and looks down at his daughter. He pulls her into his lap. She looks at him quizzically. “Is two weeks a long time?”

He kisses her forehead and she snuggles against him. “You know how Saturday mornings, Daddy doesn’t go into work and we have a big breakfast?”

She nods.

“Well, I’ll be back after two Saturdays.”

She’s quiet for a minute and he supposes she’s still processing the information.

“But Papa, who will you eat breakfast with?”

“Uncle Clint and Aunt Nat.”

“Okay but who will make us breakfast?”

Steve laughs and hugs her closer.

“Daddy knows how to make breakfast.”

“Okay,” Beverly says like she’s satisfied with his answers. “I’m going to see if Peter wants to play.”

She hops off his lap and runs towards the stairs.

“Maybe give Peter some space?”

No response only her quick footsteps up the stairs. He stands up and heads outside to sit on the patio. He closes his eyes as he relaxes back into his seat. The sun warms his skin and envelops him like a hug. He could feel his heartrate increasing but he didn’t know why. He had completed countless missions, many taking him away from his family for weeks. The ones Tony joined on were easier yet harder in other ways. They had to push their worries about Peter to the side. He was in good hands. May and Ben always watched him during these times. He even had a bedroom there.

Harder to not think about the comforts of home while sitting across from your husband in a sparsely furnished safe house eating MREs or meals ready to eat by a drafty fire. Everyone usually slept close together near the fire for warmth. There were plenty of nights he would sneak with Tony into another room. Where he would make love to his husband. Even if it was on a threadbare blanket over a dusty floor, it was special to them. The release it brought with it, made the mission bearable. They would quietly return to the main room after cleaning up, climbing into their sleeping bags and cuddling up for warmth.

He wouldn’t have that comfort this time around. It was in a remote enough area he assumed it would be another set of safe houses. No chance to stay in a hotel with hot water and a bed. Tony had introduced him to phone sex and he found himself really enjoying it. They had tried it with video a few times but he preferred it without. Listening to Tony gasp and moan as he described what he was doing to his body always got him so aroused he felt dizzy. He tried to avoid touching himself to build up suspense, to achieve a stronger orgasm.

It was good to have that space from Tony, it made their relationship stronger. However, being away from his son was challenging for him. Today wasn’t the first time Peter responded with tears. He’s become so upset before that he refused to hug Steve or even look at him. He’d ball his little fists up and glue himself to Tony’s side. Worming away if Steve tried to touch him. Tony would look at him with a sad understanding but they never forced Peter. Tony would try to talk with him and tell him he would regret not saying goodbye properly but Peter was always too stubborn. 

Now he had Beverly to worry about. His daughter who in a course of a day lost her family and everything she had ever known. For her safety they had dragged her across the country. At least Peter had pictures of his parents to remember them by. They couldn’t take that risk with her. They worked with her for days on end getting her to memorize her new name, her new address, the names and occupations of her new parents. He felt conflicted when he told her she must never mention her parents to anyone or talk of her life in DC. He hated to do it but it had to be done to keep her alive and away from Hydra. 

He worried how she would deal with him being gone. She hadn’t reacted the same way as Peter. She was so nonchalant about it after she asked her questions. Satisfied that Tony would be there to take care of her and Peter there to play with her. Something about it didn’t feel right and he felt she should be more upset. It was the same with her losing her parents. Her whole response seemed muted. 

It was a strong contrast to when Peter came to their house. Peter was inconsolable most nights and they struggled with bedtimes. He was a frightful, cautious child who was continually uncomfortable living in a stranger’s house. All the problems had seemed endless and daunting. It was sometimes unbelieve to Steve how Peter seemed to adjust to normal childhood. He knew it was the cause of Peter being afraid when either of his parents left on a mission.

He sighs before standing up and heading back inside. He needed to start packing and have the conversation with Tony he had been dreading. They were supposed to be spending Thanksgiving together as a family.

He goes in there to pack. Tony is in the bathroom showering. He comes out and gets dressed before they talk. Steve apologizes about it being close to the holiday. Tony says something snappy like oh, I hadn’t noticed. Steve says don’t be like that. He gets a little rough with Tony pressing him up against the wall, holding his arms down as he kisses his mouth forcefully before kissing down his chest.

He releases him and stands back. 

“I’ll make sure the kids are occupied and be right back.”

He sets them up with a movie and snacks. Before returning to their room and locking the door.

 

*****

The Quinjet lands on Tony’s helicopter pad nearby and he’s surprised when the call comes in from Clint and Natasha. He figured they would already be enroute to the location and he’d be riding with someone else. The two come inside to see Tony and the kids.

“How many homes do you have, Stark?” Clint asks as he walks inside.

Beverly runs up to them and stops cautiously a few feet away. Peter is usually over the moon for visitors but he’s on the couch, arms wrapped around a Captain America pillow as he watches a science program about outer space.

Steve has his bag on the table and is going through his checklist. Tony is pulling on a shirt before heading out of the bedroom. 

“9 or 10?”

“He doesn’t even know, Nat. To be that rich.”

Natasha is focused on Peter who is trying to ignore everyone else in the room. She walks over and leans down in front of him. “Whatcha watching?”

Peter spares her a glance before saying softly, “I’m not talking to you.”

“Can I sit here?” She asks as she sits next to him.

He pulls his legs in and makes himself smaller.

“You know your Papa’s job is really important.”

Peter throws the pillow at her and hops off the couch. “I don’t care!”

Tony grabs his arm before he can run up the stairs. Peter looks up at him pleadingly, tears in his eyes.

“Apologize now!” Tony says sternly.

Peter starts crying harder and tries to pull out of Tony’s grip. 

“We have to head out,” Natasha announces as she stands up.

Steve zips up his bag and observes the room. Peter finally squeaks out an apology and Tony lets him go. He wipes the tears off his face and turns to head upstairs. He cries out as Steve grabs him and pulls him up into his arms. Peter reluctantly lets himself be held. “I know you’re mad at me and I’m sorry it has to be like this. I love you son.”

Peter nuzzles into his neck and holds onto his shoulder. Steve kisses the top of his head. “Be good for Tony, okay?”

After a minute, he hesitantly sets Peter back down on his feet. He pulls him into another hug before he goes over to pick up Beverly. A quick hug and kiss before she’s asking to be put back down. Steve leaving isn’t a big deal to her and she wants to continue playing with her toys. She was showing Clint all of her stuffed dogs. He goes to Tony last, pulling him into a tight hug and whispering I love you into his ear. A quick peck on the lips because he had spent the last hour kissing every inch of Tony’s body. But Tony is greedy and deepens the kiss forcing his tongue inside.

“We’ll meet you on the jet,” Natasha calls out as Clint grabs Steve’s bag and they head back outside.

“I have to go,” Steve whispers against his lips and pulls away. “Peter can be dramatic but I don’t need that from you,” he teases.

 

******

It’s Wednesday evening and Tony is seriously starting to consider Pepper’s offer to join her at her mother’s for the holiday. Instead of being in the workshop and upgrading his armour, he had various cookbooks open to pages his husband had carefully marked. For everything he was good at, the skill of cooking just eluded him. He had the turkey thawing in the sink and hadn’t realize that would prevent him from using it. Maybe he should put it in the tub but that would only end up scaring the children. He considered if he had taken it out of the fridge too early. Steve had removed it from the freezer at the beginning of the week.

Steve had a whole list of things to prep the night before and Tony had done none of them. Instead he had thought Peter was old enough to watch Beverly for an hour while he tried to get work done in this workshop. Usually Peter could be left alone like this. He only required snacks, a blanket and a movie to be put on the television. Naively he had set up both kids like this and told them to stay put until he got back.

He assumed Jarvis was malfunctioning when he alerted him that the first floor was flooded. Had it not been for the fact that the first floor was filling up with bubbles. His children had decided to help with Thanksgiving dinner by removing all the vegetables and fruit from the fridge and mashing them together in various pots and pans as they try to make Papa’s stuffing. After realizing they had made a large mess and that Daddy might become mad they decided to load and run the dishwasher.

Tony’s mouth drops open as he enters the main living area, finding that the suds are over three feet high.

“Peter! Beverly!” He calls out trying to keep from panicking when he can’t see them anywhere.

His worry grows as he hears them crying and calling for him. He carefully walks further into the room before he sees Peter running towards him.

“Peter, don’t—”

Peter slips and falls down into the bubbles, Tony rushes over to him. Ignoring the pain in his lower back he hoists his son up and to his chest. Peter is pressing his hand over his lip.

“Are you hurt? Where’s your sister?”

Blood starts to seep through Peter’s fingers and Tony thinks he must have bit his lip when he fell. Beverly’s small hand grips his arm tightly and he looks down to make sure the soap bubbles aren’t too high and blocking her face. He crouches down and picks her up too, his back be damned. The two kids were heavy together. He walks slowly to the bathroom that hasn’t yet flooded. Jarvis had stopped the dishwasher and he would send out robots to suck up the mess once they were out of the room.

He sets both of the kids on their feet in the bathroom. He has Peter sit on the toilet seat as he grabs a towel from a drawer. He presses it to Peter’s lip to stop the bleeding. Jarvis is reading a website to him. He has to apply pressure to the cut for several minutes. If it’s still bleeding after then he’ll have to take Peter to the ER.

“No hospital,” Peter cries as he slaps Tony’s face.

Tony swats Peter’s thigh while using his other hand to hold him in place and keep pressure on the cut. Peter cries out and tries to move away. “I’d had enough of this. You can not hit your Papa and me.”

Tears are rolling down Peter’s face mixing with the blood in the white towel. He whines and tries to push Tony’s hand away.

“Tony. I’m cold,” Beverly complains.

“Go grab some towels, Honey. Let’s get out of your wet clothes.”

He looks down at Peter and the goosebumps forming on his arms. He takes one of the towels from Beverly and wraps it around Peter the best he can one handed. Jarvis has said it was important to not let up on the pressure. He glances back at his daughter.

“You need help?” She shakes her head as she pulls off her wet clothes before wrapping a towel around her body.

After many popsicles and crying the kids were finally in bed. Peter had whined during dinner about his mouth hurting and having to eat soft food. He didn’t think it was fair that Beverly and Tony were eating a different meal from him. It was finally quiet but he couldn’t concentrate on these damn recipes. He picks up his phone and shoots off a message to Pepper asking what time they need to be there for dinner and if he should bring anything.

He kicks his feet up on the coffee table knocking the books to the side as he asks Jarvis to turn to television onto something interesting. He’s leaning his head back and closes his eyes when he senses a presence near him. His heart rate quickens and he’s reaching out to push the thing back when Peter lets out a yelp. Tony is taking in the scene and realizing he’s not in any danger. His hands are still around his son’s waist and he’s tipping him precariously off the couch. Tony immediately pulls him onto his lap. 

“Hey buddy, you scared me. Why are you still up?”

“My mouth hurts.”

“I can’t give you another pill and there’s not much else to do. Do you want to put ice on it?”

Peter shakes his head and rests his face against Tony’s chest, his small hand reaches up to poke at his lip. Tony frowns watching him before he gently pulls his hand back from his face. 

“It will get infected if you keep touching it.”

“But it feels weird.”

A moment of silence before Peter speaks again, “I want a popsicle.”

Tony sighs heavily. “You’re not having anymore tonight you’ve already brushed your teeth.”

Peter’s fingers are slipping back into his mouth rubbing against the sore spot. Tony is grabbing his wrist again. He lets it go and cards his fingers through Peter’s soft curls instead. It wasn’t a battle he was going to win.

“Do you miss Papa?” Peter asks after a couple minutes.

Tony kisses the top of his head inhaling the strawberry scent of his hair and wondering if Howard had ever felt this way towards him. He had plenty of memories of cuddling with his mother like this but he couldn’t think of a single instance with his father. It was something he couldn’t wrap his head around because this very moment with Peter made everything else melt away.

“Of course.”

“I’m sad he isn’t here.”

“If we’re lucky he’ll be able to call tomorrow.”

“Daddy?”

“Hmm?”

“Can we have popcorn?”

Tony laughs and hugs him tighter.

“Boo boo Bunny and then bed,” Tony counters because Bruce was dating someone who made cutesy crafts for the kids. It was nice actually because it distracted Peter when he was hurt. It was a washcloth folded and sewn into a shape of a bunny that was moistened and left in the freezer. Easier than dealing with a plastic bag filled with ice since both children liked taking the ice out and letting it melt on furniture.

“I can’t sleep. I’m worried about Papa.”

“Let Daddy do all the worrying, okay? You just be a kid.”

Peter looks pensive as he lifts his head.

“I’ll try.”

“Good. Let’s get you to bed,” Tony says as he tries to get Peter to stand up. Peter hugs him tight and doesn’t allow himself to be moved. Tony laughs at him. “Baby! You are going to bed. We’re not doing this tonight.”

****

Tony retires to his bedroom and looks around the quiet room at the empty bed. It was too quiet in the room, he didn’t think he could sleep. He gets washed up and changed into pajamas before settling into bed. Surprisingly he’s able to fall asleep, less surprisingly he’s having an awful dream. Memories of Afghanistan playing out vividly through his mind. He wakes with a start, sitting up and reaching out instinctually for Steve. All he finds in the cold comforter, he grips it tightly in his hand and looks around the room starting his calming exercise.

  * 5 things you can see
  * 4 things you can touch
  * 3 things you can hear
  * 2 things you can smell
  * 1 thing you can taste



He still felt awful but it seemed to make things at least better. He gets out of bed and goes into the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. After drying off his face, he heads down to the workshop losing himself in a project to clear his head. It’s a few hours later when he starts to fall back asleep, his head lolling forward shocks him awake. He blinks and stares around his workshop before deciding he’ll try sleep again.

The bed isn’t empty this time, both of his children have made themselves comfortable in it. Their tiny forms spread out and taking up as much of the bed as they can. He gently scoots their bodies over so he has just enough room to lie down. Beverly immediately snuggles up to him invading his space. Peter’s eyes pop open and he lets up a little yawn. Tony reaches out a hand and tousles his hair.

“Go back to sleep. It isn’t morning yet.”

*****

The next morning is slow moving as Tony sits on the couch to drink his coffee. Peter is curled up under a blanket talking Tony’s ear off. Tony is trying to listen but isn’t fully awake enough yet. Beverly is all energy, running back and forth across the room.

“Daddy, isn’t that interesting?” Peter asks.

“Sure is.”

“What do you think Aunt May and Uncle Ben are doing for Thanksgiving? Oh! I just thought of something! You need to put the turkey in the oven. Papa always puts it in early in the morning.”

“Gobble gobble! Turkey!” Beverly yells before jumping onto the couch.

“Sit on your butt,” Tony says.

Beverly keeps jumping on the cushion. Peter kicks her and she falls onto her bottom giggling.

“Dad! The turkey!” Peter whines.

“Don’t worry about the turkey.”

“But we won’t have anything to eat!”

Beverly is standing up again playing with Tony’s messy morning hair. He seamlessly pulls her onto his lap and holds her still for a second.

“We’re going to Pepper’s mother’s house for Thanksgiving. It will be fine. At your age your biggest concern should be if I remember to buy your favorite cereal or not.” Tony assures him. Peter had a tendency to worry about everything.

“Did you?” Peter asks. “Because I’m running low and I wanted to have it today.”

Beverly tries to weasel out of Tony’s arms. “Tony! Let me go! I have to run!”

“Just sit still for a minute,” he teases as he rolls her onto her back and tickles her sides. She squeals and giggles loudly.

“Dad! My cereal!”

“What?” Tony asks as he stops tickling his daughter and she stretches her legs out as she tries to catch her breath after all the laughing.

“I was talking to you and you just ignore me to play with Beverly. You never pay attention to me anymore.”

Beverly rolls off of Tony and resumes running around the room.

“Pete,” Tony says as he rubs his eyes before holding out his hand and motion for Peter to come over. 

Peter wraps the blankets tighter around himself and moves closer to the edge of the couch. “No! You’re only doing that because I said something.”

Tony sighs and grabs his cup of coffee. Peter was so young and so old at the same time. He was constantly worrying about things no kid his age should be concerned about. Yet he still needed a story at night and god forbid you forgot to turn on the night light. It turned into a major meltdown. He can feel Peter sneaking glances over at him.

“Get over here you sour puss.”

Peter does make a sour face unconsciously before hopping off the couch and heading into the kitchen to make a bowl of cereal. He sets the precariously filled bowl on the coffee table and leans over it as he shovels spoonfuls messily into his mouth.

Beverly gets in his face when he’s eating and acts like she is a begging dog. 

“Stop!” he squeals causing Tony to look over at them. His parenting style was more of let’s see how this plays out where Steve probably would have stopped it right away. Tony instead turns on the news station to see what is going on in the world.

“Dad! She keeps getting in my face!”

“Then tell her to back up,” Tony says.

“Dad!”

“How do you expect to get through life if you can’t stand up to your little sister?”

“If I was allowed to hit her.”

Tony laughs and asks Beverly if she wants her own bowl of cereal. He makes her one and sets up at the table away from her brother.

“You never make me a bowl of cereal,” Peter complains milk dripping down his chin.

Tony smiles looking at his messy face and heads back into the kitchen to grab a dishcloth. Peter bawks as Tony rubs at his face.

“I’m not a baby anymore!”

“That’s good. I haven’t changed your diaper recently. Didn’t put you in pull-ups overnight. Any accidents?”

Peter laughs and rolls his eyes at Tony. “Someday I’ll be changing yours.”

“Touché.”

******

The Potts Family home is busy when they arrive. Beverly is pulling at her fluffy red and gold dress. Tony grabs her hand and tells her to stop fussing with it. Even though the temperature was on the cool side the sun was out making Peter feel too warm in the sweater Tony forced him to wear. He stops on the path up to the house to slip it up over his head. He hands it to his father. Tony stuffs it into the bag he brought with a change of clothes for the kids in case of any accidents. He looks disapprovingly at Peter’s white undershirt that is now covered in blue fuzz from the sweater.

“Still carrying the old diaper bag? Aren’t your kids a little old?” Pepper’s brother teases him as they get through the threshold.

“They’re just very messy and accident prone,” Tony explains as he drops the bag by the door and greets Mrs. Potts handing her a hostess gift and a nice wine he brought.

“She’s the one in diapers,” Peter teases pointing towards his sister.

Beverly lifts up her dress showing off her white tights and patterned underwear underneath. “No I’m not!”

Pepper gets to her before Tony does and smooths down her dress. “Sweetie, don’t show people your underwear.”

“I hate dresses. I told Tony I wanted to wear pants.”

“Is that so?” Pepper asks as she’s still kneeling down in front of her. “Your dress is very pretty though.”

“Aunt Pepper!” Peter exclaims wrapping her into a hug.

“Hi sweetie,” she says before kissing his cheek.

“How big is your turkey? When did you put it in the oven?”

“It’s big enough to feed us all. Mom put it in the oven very early in the morning.”

“Cool! Daddy forgot to put the turkey in so we had to come here.”

Pepper laughs and pulls him into another hugs. “Really?”

“We tried to help Tony make stuffing but we flooded the house,” Beverly adds.

Pepper wraps an arm around Beverly pulling her close. “I’m sure your Daddy appreciated the help,” she jokes.

*****

 

Dinner has been cleared from the table and adults are gathered around drinking and playing cards. Beverly climbs up on Tony as they are in the middle of a game. He wraps an arm around her and kisses her forehead. “Are you going to help Daddy play?”

She shakes her head before resting it against Tony’s chest. She keeps telling Tony what cards to play and asking loudly about the cards he has. It’s causing Tony to lose the game and other people at the table to laugh.

“You need to stop,” he teases as he hugs her.

“Can I have candy?”

“There’s no candy.”

Beverly reaches across the table for a dish of m&ms. Tony grabs it before she can and puts a small amount of his plate for her. She eats her snacks and lets Tony play the game without interruptions.

“Are your ears bothering you, sweetie?” Mrs Potts asks.

Beverly stops in the middle of tugging her ear and stares up at the older woman before hiding her face in Tony’s neck. Tony looks back at Mrs Potts concerned.

“She keeps tugging at her ears. Kids do that when their ears hurt. She might have an ear infection.”

“Bevie, are they hurting?”

“’No,” she whines even as she sitting back and pulling at her earlobe.

Tony kisses her forehead, “why don’t you go play with your brother and the other kids?”

“I’m sleepy. I want you to hold me.”

He gives her a squeeze. “I can certainly do that.”

 

****

 

Tony wakes up to the sound of Peter’s voice. They had made it through the holiday and into the weekend. Peter had been getting restless and bored being out of school for so long. Tony was struggling with keeping him entertained. Pepper’s mother had been correct and Beverly was coming down with an ear infection. So they were stuck in the house running out of things to do.

“Papa,” he calls over and over again as he comes into the room. Tony opens his eyes as Peter nears the bed. He worries his son is sleepwalking. He lifts up the blankets, scooting over and coaxing Peter into bed. He pulls him to his chest and kisses his forehead. “Papa isn’t home baby. You know that. Daddy’s here. Shh…don’t cry.”

The room is quiet besides the fan and Peter’s crying. Tony tries to tune it out and fall back asleep. Everytime he starts to drift off, Peter starts asking for Steve. 

“Shh…baby,” Tony whispers as his fingers run over the soft sweaty curls on his son’s head.

It goes on like this for an hour and Tony starts to accept that he probably isn’t going to get any sleep tonight.

An exhausted Tony sits up and turns on the light. Peter clings to his side as he looks for his phone on the side table. “Let’s try calling Papa. It will be tomorrow for him.”

Peter visibly calms at his father’s words. He had woken up from a bad dream before he came in the room. He was dreaming about Steve’s mission but it had been a mix of a few Steve had told him about before. The location changed and even the people there changed throughout the dream. His Papa was bleeding and the bad guy was standing above him ready to deliver another blow. Papa hadn’t come home from the mission. Tony had held his hand as he walked him up to the casket to say his final goodbye. Then there were suddenly two caskets and when he looked around the room he saw it was his Richard and Mary Parker’s funeral. When he looks up it’s Uncle Ben holding his hand. He woke up then and he couldn’t convince himself it had just been a dream. He felt immense grief like a weight on his chest. He had to see his Papa and check that he was okay.

“But you have to be okay if he doesn’t answer. He could be busy.”

Peter nods weakly as Tony dials the number. 

“Hey uh—”

“Tony? Is everything alright? It’s what, 3 in the morning for you?”

“Yeah everything is fine. Bev has an ear infection. Took her to the doctor this morning.”

Peter waits patiently as they talk, listening to Tony’s side of the conversation. He’s finally handed the phone. He sits up and moves to the other side of the bed to talk to Steve. Overjoyed to hear his voice and know that he’s ok. He recounts what he can remember of his dream. Steve does what he can to calm him down. After a long chat, he crawls back over to Tony to give him the phone but finds him to be asleep. So he tells Steve bye, returns the phone to the nightstand, and turns off the light. He curls up in the middle of the bed and starts to fall back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've created a tumblr, please follow me: [pinkhairnoshoes](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pinkhairnoshoes)
> 
> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
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	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets called out on a mission over the holidays. Tony is stuck with two sick kids and has some unexpected visitors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while for the update. I hope you enjoy the chapter. I've changed this to a four chapter story because there is more I want to cover.
> 
> Please visit my tumblr: [pinkhairnoshoes](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pinkhairnoshoes)

Tony glances at the clock before heading upstairs and out of his workshop. Beverly had been napping for a while and he wanted to make sure she was still alright. He never did well when his children were sick. His mind kept slipping back to thoughts of Peter in the hospital hooked up to machines. He didn’t want to go through that ever again. It was out of his control and since that was rarely the case with things, it scared him.

Tony can’t find Beverly in her room. The bed is unmade, obviously slept in but empty now. Whenever Peter had a stomach bug he would end up sleeping on the bathroom floor close to the toilet so Tony was fully expecting to find his daughter curled up with a blanket on the rug. The bathroom is empty so he pulls the shower curtain open. Empty besides the bottles of kid shampoo and body wash, and a basket of bright foam toys in a hanging basket affixed to the tiled wall.

“JARVIS, where are my children?”

“Master Peter is at the kitchen table. Miss Beverly is in her room.”

“Where in her room?” Tony asks as he checks under the bed.

“She is in the walk-in closet.”

“Why?” Tony asks.

“Perhaps she prefers the company of clothes,” JARVIS quips.

He carefully opens the closet and sees his daughter in a pile of pink blankets.

“Bev, dear, why aren’t you in bed?”

She turns her head to look up at him, “the room is too big.”

Tony gets down on his knees and rubs her hair off her forehead feeling her body temperature. There was a thin layer of sweat and her skin was warm to the touch.

“I need to see my doctor.”

“We did that yesterday, remember?”

“My doctor at the the place.”

Tony helps her stand up and they walk out to living-room. She climbs onto the couch and lies down. Tony goes into the kitchen and grabs her medicines from the fridge. He sits on the couch with her and measures out the dose in droppers. She whines as Tony sits her up and brings the dropper of red Tylenol to her mouth. “Take this one first. I know it’s nasty but it’s the sweet amoxicillin next.”

“The pink stuff?”

He shoves the dropper in before she can close her mouth. She makes a face as she swallows it and then she’s accepting the next dropper of medicine.

“See? That wasn’t so bad,” Tony says as he runs his hand through her hair trying to get it slightly more presentable.

He takes her temperature next, waiting for the thermometer to beep. He pulls it out of her mouth and frowns as he sees that she has a fever.

“Daddy is going to grab coffee and then we’ll get you in the bath.

******

Tony walks into the bathroom with three popsicles. Beverly is in the warm bubble bath playing with her foam toys and drawing on the walls with bathtub crayons. Peter is sitting in the corner reading a book.

“What flavor do you want Bevie?”

“Purple.”

Tony looks in his hand before opening the purple popsicle and handing it to her.

“Peter?”

His son looks up from his book and says, “what?”

“Popsicle flavor?”

“What colors do you have?”

“Red and orange.”

“I’ll take orange.”

They sit around eating their popsicles. Tony sits close to Peter putting an arm around him. “Did you have a good time at Thanksgiving?

“Yeah but I missed having Papa there.”

“Me too.”

There’s the sound of his daughter splashing in the water and the sound of her toys hitting the side of the tub. There’s the sound of his children noisily slurping their popsicles. The sound of Peter occasionally turning the page in his book. 

Recently he had become obsessed with Goosebumps. Every week Steve would take the kids to the library for a few hours and Peter always came back with a few from that series. All things considered they were worried the books would be too scary and lead to nightmares. It had the opposite effect and seemed to be helping him get through the trauma from earlier in the year.

Tony watches over his shoulder reading along with him until Peter notices and gets annoyed. He turns his body away from Tony and shields his book. Tony invades his space more laughing as he teases him. Peter stands up abruptly.

“Why can’t you leave me alone?” Peter whines as heads towards the door.

“Don’t take that popsicle out of this room,” Tony warns.

Peter looks back at Tony defiantly and drops it on the tile floor before walking out of the room. Tony stands up and takes a second before pursuing him. Don’t be like Howard. Don’t respond like him. He could see it in his head, jerking Peter’s arm up roughly while his other hand unbuckles his belt and pulls it loose. The fear he had felt when Howard did something like that to him. He didn’t want his children to experience that.

His father had hit him for way less. Sometimes it felt like the punishments were purely because he existed and took up space. He remembers times so bad that he was praying to go back to boarding school. He couldn’t find the right balance, he never wanted his children to be afraid of him. But Peter was pushing his boundaries and even more so with Steve gone. He couldn’t just let it go he had to do something.

“Peter, get back in here now!”

Beverly ceases her playing and looks up at him fearfully as he raises his voice. Peter reluctantly comes back, crossing his arms and staring down at his toes instead of meeting Tony’s gaze. Tony watches him thinking about what to do. He wished Steve was here to handle it. He hated this part of parenting, he didn’t want to discipline them. It was hard to keep his anger in check and he hated the crying.

“Pick it up,” Tony yells and his son’s brown eyes glisten with moisture as Peter finally looks up at him. He blinks and tears slide down his face but he listens and picks up the popsicle before looking up at his father confused.

“What do you want me to do with it?” Peter asks, his voice thick.

“Go throw it in the kitchen garbage and bring a paper towel to wipe up the floor.”

Tony is kneeling by the tub playing with Beverly when Peter finishes cleaning up and returns to the room. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispers as he stands next to the tub. Tony turns towards him and wraps an arm around him pulling him close before kissing his cheek tasting the salty tears. Tony squeezes him a little tighter.

“I love you and your sister, you know that?”

Peter nods his head.

“Will you help Daddy by being a good boy while Papa is gone?”

“Peter is a bad boy,” Beverly adds kicking her legs and splashing water. Peter squirms out of Tony’s grasp and hides behind his back. Tony laughs as he shirt gets wet before he scolds Beverly to stop.

*****

One of the late nights when Tony is meeting with Australia, his eyes start to water and his nose feels a little itchy, so he finds himself struggling to stay awake during the meeting. In addition his mind keeps wandering. Beverly seemed to be getting worse instead of better. She was miserable every day. He was struggling to find a nanny as some are not wanting to start in the middle of a kid being sick. There was also the process of screening them and filtering out the bad ones. 

He had spoken to Steve earlier that day or had it been yesterday? It was all blending together as he stays up all hours still trying to work as Pepper takes over as much responsibility as she can. Steve had let him know that the mission was delayed and they’ll still be another few weeks. He promises to find someone to help. Tony didn’t know how Steve thought he could do a better job finding a nanny when he’s thousands of miles away.

That morning when Peter comes into the room to wake him up and let him know Beverly’s thrown up on the couch, he barely feels like he can get out of bed. While Peter is droning on about her ruining his tranquil morning disrupting his breakfast and favorite cartoon, Tony wonders where he has picked up such big words and feels a sense of pride.

Tony sits up slowly his head aching all over. Light fills his eyes as he opens them. Peter is looking at him impatiently shifting his weight between his feet. 

“Daddy,” he implores reaching out to shove his shoulder. Tony throws his legs over the side of the bed and scrubs his face with his hand. Peter moves in between his legs and goes to grab his hand. “Daddy you have to hurry. It’s gross.”

Tony tries to suck in a breath and realizes the cause of the headache, he’s completely congested. No, this couldn’t be, he couldn’t do this, he can’t be sick. He hasn’t been sick in years he didn’t take time off. Only if he became really injured on a mission. His body hurt all over and it felt like he hadn’t slept for days. Well actually worse than that because he had done that and felt better. Would it be so bad to have a drink? He knew had been slipping lately, turning to the bottle when the stress of two children on top of everything else became too much. 

“Daddy, are you sick? You look sick.”

“I’m fine. Need a minute to wake up. Will you go make sure your sister is okay?”

Peter runs out of the room and Tony disappears into the bathroom to splash water on his face and find some cold medicine. He’d need something stronger to get through the day.

A few days go by and soon all three of them are sick. Tony is struggling to take care of everyone. Steve is really worried when they talk on the phone again. He talks to Pepper but she’s too busy taking over his responsibilities to offer much assistant. She assures Steve that she’s set up food delivery and checked in on him a few times.

 

*******

 

Tony startles awake as it feels like the whole house is shaking. His children are sitting up slowly and looking at him fearfully.

“It’s an earthquake,” Tony says as he starts to get his bearing together. He gets off the couch kicking off the blanket before he coaxes his kids up. They start making their way to a safe spot when there’s a loud knock at the glass sliding door.

“Man of Iron, I’m here to help.”

Tony hurries over there and opens the door before Thor can tear it off the frame. He’s pulled into a forceful hug. “Tony’s fine, Point Blank. No need for titles.”

He releases Tony and turns to the two small children who are looking up at him wide-eyed. 

“So these are the little ones?” Thor asks kneeling down to be at their level. 

“Wow you have beautiful hair,” Beverly says.

Thor flips his long blond hair and Beverly reaches out to touch it. Tony grabs her hand stopping her. “You need to ask first,” he reprimands her.

“It’s okay,” Thor says as he lets her.

Peter starts excitedly asking about Asgard.

“All in good time friend. I’m here to help your Dad.”

Thor agrees to watch the children while Tony gets in the shower. Beverly is at the tailend of her cold and starting to feel better. Peter is still pretty sickly. Thor helps get cleaned up and into fresh pajamas and starts to make them lunch. He picks up the house following Peter’s instructions. Once he’s sure Tony is asleep, he tells Loki to show himself. Peter is looking at Loki shocked but Beverly looks excited.

“What are you the God of?” she asks excitedly.

“Bad news bears,” Peter says remembering something his father had said about the man and he knew it references some old movies his dad watched as a kid. 

Loki cackles. “Of Mischief,” he corrects, “and I am not bad news.”

Thor tries to make them soup but doesn’t know how to use a can opener. It takes him a while to even find the right tool as the children keep making suggestions. Eventually he pulls out a knife and crudely cuts the can before pouring the contents into a pot.

He tries to make them a sandwich but doesn’t get the concept very well. Beverly is trying to explain that he needs to slice things smaller. It’s going horribly wrong and Loki is just laughing from the corner of the room. The kids keep insisting that they must wake up Tony. Thor tells them they must not, Tony hasn’t slept in days and he really needs to remain asleep. Peter wants to call Steve but Thor and Loki don’t have phones. Tony’s phone is in the room with him and Thor won’t let them near there. 

Pepper’s food order arrives. Tomato soup and grilled cheese. The kids eat it up greedily. Peter’s stomach isn’t well. He goes upstairs complaining his stomach is hurting. He goes into his parents bathroom because he’s really starting to feel sick and he wants his Dad to hold him. Tony wakes up to the sound of crying and finds Peter kneeling in front of the toilet. Peter is throwing up and tears are streaming down his face. Tony cleans him up, wiping his mouth and flushing the toilet. He gives him a glass of water, but Peter is unable to hold it down.. Tony sits on the bathroom floor with him holding him in his lap, rocking him softly and wiping sweat from his brow.

They hear a gentle knock at the door, before Thor’s imposing figure comes into the room.

“What the hell did you feed my kid?”

“Those tiny cheese sandwiches and—”

“I’m just messing with you,” Tony says. “Thanks for watching them. It feels great to get more than 3 hours of sleep.”

“I’ll take him,” Thor offers holding out his arms. “Steve said you needed to rest and I’m here to help.”

Peter whines and pulls himself closer against his father. 

“Will you go with Thor? He’ll put you in bed and tuck you in tight.”

Peter looks at Tony sadly before letting Thor pick him up and carry him out of the room.

 

******

Steve sighs as he closes his laptop and runs his hand frustratedly through his hair. They would have to move again in the morning. He and Natasha were up late, biding time before they had to head out on their mission. Natasha stands up from the couch across the room and pulls out a chair at the table. It scratches loudly across the floor before she sits down heavily.

Or they are planning on hitting the target in a couple hours. Trying to find something to occupy them and keep away. Steve is playing solitaire.

“I can’t concentrate,” Steve confesses.

“How are they doing?”

“They all have the stomach flu. Bev’s too little to make it to the bathroom. Throwing up all over the place. Tony’s exhausted.”

“You want to be there for them? You think you could help?”

“Maybe? I’m also glad to be away. Does that make me a bad parent?”

Her sardonic laughter fills the room. She crosses her legs and fiddles with a pen on the table. “I’m not the one to ask. Maybe wake up Clint for that.”

“You should try to get some sleep. Just for a couple hours. I’ll keep watch.”

Natasha uncrosses her legs and stands up abruptly before slowly pacing around the room. “I’ve had the exact amount of sleep I need. I could say the same to you.”

“Talk then? Wanna tell me how someone you set me up with, secretly had my child and sold her out to Hydra?”

“Shots fired. We could watch TV instead. Probably find some interesting infomercials?”

“Nat.”

“She seemed average. Pedestrian. Some boring white vanilla for you.”

“So not a threat,” Steve asks drumming his knuckles against the table.

She stops walking and looks over at him. “I only pretend to know everything. She took a leave of absence. Sick mom or dad. When she came back she was married and with the baby. Quick but you assume it’s grief. I had no reason to look into her.”

Steve sighs heavily. “What was she doing during that time? Letting Hydra experiment on the kid?”

Natasha says nothing and starts to dig through a cabinet for snacks. She throws a small bag of Doritos towards Steve. He catches it and then shakes it at her. “Not going to answer?”

She opens a bag of pretzels and rejoins him at the table. Slowly chewing one before answering. “You have her now. She’s safe. Seemingly normal and unaffected by whatever happened. I think you should focus on that.”

“You know something?”

“Again. I only pretend to,” she says glancing up at him before turning on the television. A foreign language fills the air but Natasha seems to understand it. Steve watches for a minute before tuning it out. His thoughts going back to his children. Beverly was more than safe in Tony’s care. No harm would come to her. Peter, his little worrywort, would be just fine.

“You could have worn a condom.”

“Huh? You talking to me or the TV?”

“With the SHIELD girl. She wouldn’t have gotten pregnant if you did that.”

“I don’t like the feel of them. She said she was on birth control. Aren’t most women on it?”

“Not me. Don’t have to worry about that, the Red Room took that choice away.”

Steve opens his mouth to speak. 

“Don’t say anything pitying or feel sorry for me. I don’t need that.”

“I wasn’t—”

“How long until we head out?” Natasha asks changing the subject even though she knows the answer because she came up with the plan.

 

********

The house is dark and quiet as Steve steps inside. It had been almost a month since he had been inside these walls. The familiar smells reach his nose and how much he’s missed his family really hits him. He is beyond exhausted and his shoulder is still throbbing. The mission went well. A few injuries here and there but they had gotten what they were after. Important intel and another Hydra base dismantled and burned to the ground. He sets down a heavy bundle with a thud onto the table before walking softly into his bedroom and thru to the bathroom. 

 

Steve was still in his uniform, there were a few tears and some blood. Tony would need to do repairs. He removes it from his body, placing it neatly in the closet where the children won’t see it. He takes a quick shower and changes into a fresh pair of boxers. Shutting off the light, he opens the door and makes his way to the bed. It takes a moment for his eyes to adjust and he notices there’s no room for him. He leans down and kisses Peter’s cheek to wake him up. He holds his finger over his mouth to shush him.

“Scoot over, so I can get in,” Steve whispers.

“There’s no room,” Peter says pointing to his sister. “We have to wake her up but she won’t be quiet.”

Steve reaches out to rub her shoulder and she recoils away from him and buries herself closer to Tony. Steve has just enough room to get on the bed. Peter is excited and tries to ask about the mission.

“Shh, no, go to sleep. Please,” Steve whispers as his eyes close on their own accord.

A huge smile is spreading across Peter’s face. “I’m so happy you’re home!”

Steve pulls Peter into his arms and to his chest, kissing the top of his head. “Go to sleep,” he repeats.

“But Papa, I have so much to say to you!”

Steve stifles a laugh, if he started laughing it would definitely wake Tony up. He knew if husband was exhausted and would struggle to fall back asleep.

“Pete, I’m being serious.”

Peter ignores what he’s said and runs his small fingers through Steve’s beard.

“I like when you grow your beard in.”

Steve pushes his hand away, pausing to rub his thumb across Peter’s palm. He drops his hand and starts to rub his back. Steve’s body stops fighting sleep and his mind starts to drift. Peter had finally gotten quiet and Steve felt so relaxed. Being home, feeling safe, and surrounded by the ones he loved.

********

Steve was expecting a slow easy morning to spend with his family. He’s surprised to wake up in an empty bed. He hears Tony yelling at Peter to get his homework together and into his backpack.

Tony has a look of pure relief on his face when he sees Steve come into the room. Steve approaches him, interrupting his lunch making to press a kiss on his lips. Beverly runs up behind him and slaps his butt.

“Papa is only in his panties.”

“They’re underwear,” Steve corrects laughing as he pushes her hand away. She runs out of the room.

“Will you fix her hair and get their backpacks together?” Tony asks.

Tony packs the small lunch bags and starts to clean up the kitchen. He can hear Beverly screaming from her room that she doesn’t want her hair done. The crying as Steve starts to brush her hair and pull it back into some kind of pony tail. Her eyes are still red rimmed when they return to the room, her light blonde hair pulled into pigtails. Steve walks with her backpack to the counter and puts her lunch bag into it.

“Peter!” Steve calls out and his son’s head pokes over the couch. “Stop watching cartoons and get your things together.”

“I am ready.”

“Where’s your backpack then? Is your lunch in it?”

“Yeah.”

“That wasn’t a yes or no question. Get over here.”

Peter walks over to him reluctantly.

“Where is your lunch?” Steve repeats.

“It’s in my bag.” Peter says rubbing his eye.

“Look at the counter, Peter. How is it in your bag if it’s there? Go get your stuff together.”

He has the kids ready to go out the door, he’s grabbing his keys off the hook when he hears Tony’s voice.

“Steve, you’re forgetting something.”

“What??”

“Pants. Shirts. I’m sure all the desperate housewives will appreciate if you show up in your undies but I won’t.”

Tony walks up to him and kisses him deeply as he slips the keys out of his hands. 

“I’ll take the kids to school and you finish getting ready,” he says after breaking the kiss. He goes in for a quick peck. 

“Don’t feel a need to put on a shirt. I’ve missed this,” Tony says as he fingers play with Steve’s nipple.

“You can’t just touch his boobs. You have to ask!” Beverly exclaims as she pushes through them.

Tony steps back and both of them start laughing. In doubling the number of children in their life, they had doubled the amount of wild things being said.

*******

The house is decorated for Christmas but it isn’t feeling festive. Steve has to go through the files. There was a high chance he would come across ones about his daughter. He had no doubts that Hydra had done something to her. He had to keep his anger in check because if Julia and Tim weren’t dead he would have killed them himself. He didn’t know how someone could let their child be experimented on. He didn’t care that they had second thoughts and did the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
> Feedback
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>   * Short comments
>   * Long comments
>   * Questions
>   * “<3” as extra kudos
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> This author sees and appreciates all comments, but may not reply.
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> Note: If you don’t want a reply, for any reason (sometimes I feel shy when I’m reading and not up to starting a conversation, for example), feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New information comes to light about Beverly and Steve struggles to deal with it. The family tries to have a decent Christmas together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've updated the tags. This chapter is a little on the darker side.

The files are spread across the desk. Pictures, journal notes, experiment logs. A part of Steve wanted to burn it all to cleanse it from his mind. Pictures of a young girl covered in bruises or hooked up to machines. Apparatuses hooked up to her that he’d have to ask Bruce to even identify what they even were. There were bruises on her body in spots where no-one should be touching her. He tastes vomit looking at her bruised genitals. He gathers up the images and pauses, his hands posed to tear them in half. Tear them to shreds so they didn’t exist anymore. It takes all his willpower not to do it. He drops them and bangs his fist on the desk, everything on it bouncing up before settling back down.

It wasn’t his daughter's files but she was someone’s daughter and this is how Hydra had treated their experiments. Over and over he saw the same things and he had to think that his daughter had gone through those unspeakable things. There was no way to tell, she seemed normal and well adjusted. In those memories were repressed down deep he didn’t want them shaken loose.

Steve storms out of the room and paces around. Nothing can clear his mind and he just wants Tony to come home. If only to share the misery with him. He was an awful father, all he had ever done is fail to protect his children. What’s the point of this body and all the super strength if he just fails. He didn’t deserve them or this life. 

*****

Steve gives up on going through the paperwork. Nothing found on his daughter which isn’t surprising since the place they raided was overseas. He has this nervous energy running through him. He goes downstairs to take it out on a punching bag. At the end when his hands are starting to hurt, he starts to carefully unwrap the fabric from his knuckles. Tossing them back into the gym bag. He rests his hands on the sides of the metal table and stares down at nothing in particular. His mind still wasn’t clear.

Steve felt like he was seeing into how detectives must feel after years of working on cases. There’s so much evil in the world. He would write his report and turn over the folders to SHIELD. Later though, because he wasn’t ready to look at it again.

After a quick shower, he sits on the couch and opens a beer. He flips through the television channels until he finds some reality show with episodes all day. He lies down and gets comfortable. Time passes and he drinks more. He’s not paying attention to the time. He stirs awake as Friday announces that Happy is downstairs and on his way up with the children. He quickly deposits the bottles in the recycling and lies back down on the couch.

The children are loud and excited as they come into the room. Dropping their bags and shoes at the door, they rush towards Steve. He lets out a groan as one child jumps onto his chest, and the other onto his stomach. He tries holding them both in his arms as he sits up carefully adjusting them.

“Who missed me?”

“Me!” Peter says excitedly.

Steve squeezes Beverly a little tighter. “What about my baby girl?”

“She missed you too!” Peter answers.

Steve kisses his cheek. “I want to hear from your sister.”

Peter runs his fingers through Steve’s beard. “Do you like Papa’s beard, sissy?”

Beverly’s bright brown eyes look up towards her father. She looks quizzical before saying, “no.”

“No?” Steve asks laughing. “Why not?”

“You left and you weren’t supposed to leave me,” her voice comes out so sad for a child so young. She balls up some of his shirt in her hand and she starts to cry.

“Come on Pete, get off me a minute,” Steve says as he pulls Beverly fully to his chest.

“That’s not fair. He was my Daddy first! You’re taking him away,” Peter cries before trying to fight his way back up.

“God dammit Peter. What did I just tell you?” Steve scolds his patience razor-thin from the stress of the mission. It was always an adjustment returning to domestic life.

Tears flood Peter’s eyes as he scoots off the couch. Steve is already returning his focus to his daughter who he is worried about after reading the reports.

“You’re mean!” Peter cries before running off to his room and slamming the door. 

Steve adjusts Beverly in his arms and starts to stand up.

“I’ll talk to him,” Happy offers.

“Thanks. I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just tough being back home.”

Happy attempts to talk to Peter and it doesn’t go well. It just sends him into a full tantrum. Happy comes out back to the living-room watching Steve walk back and forth with his daughter in his arms. She’s crying as much as Peter is.

“I tried. He doesn’t want to talk,” Happy says sounding defeated.

“I appreciate it, Happy. Any idea when Tony will be home?”

“There’s some major meetings going on today,” Happy says as he checks his phone. “I need to get back actually. Sorry I can’t help more.”

Steve goes to check on Peter after he hears a loud noise from the room. Peter is throwing things off his dresser and out of his closet.

“Peter, what are you doing?”

“Go away!”

Steve adjusts Beverly in his hold before grabbing Peter’s arm and stopping him from throwing another toy.

“Stop throwing shit!”

Peter continues crying and yelling about Steve being gone and ignoring him. Steve looks down at Beverly and she seems to be calming down. She looks worn out and her eyes are red from crying. This was hard, it always was, coming back from a mission and trying to adjust. He was used to giving orders and having them followed without question. Family life didn’t work like that. He knew why Peter was upset and that yelling at him wasn’t going to get them anywhere.

Steve lets go of Peter and sits on the ground, adjusting Beverly so she’s on one side of his lap. He opens his right arm and Peter stares at him uncertain now that he’s getting his way.

“I didn’t send you to your room. I just wanted to check your sister for a minute. You could have stayed right by me,” Steve explains as he tries to keep his voice calm.

Peter climbs onto his lap and Steve pulls him in kissing his cheek a couple times.

“Now listen. I’ll have to go to SHIELD for a couple days but after that I’m off for a bit. You’ll have as much of me as you want.”

Peter leans in and wipes his tears on Steve’s shoulder. That was probably the most he would get out of Peter in the interaction.

“You two hungry? You want snacks?”

They walk back to the kitchen. Steve grabs a couple six-cup muffin tins and sets them on the counter. Beverly is sitting at the table. Steve opens the fridge and pulls out some plastic containers full of cut fruit. He nearly trips over Peter as he goes to put them on the island. 

“Go sit with your sister. I’m not going anywhere.”

There was a lot of down-time on missions and Steve had recently discovered social media. So he spent a fair bit of time pinning various ideas he came across on Pinterest. The muffin tins was one of them. Each compartment he would filled with a different fruit or snack. Since he now had two picky eaters he had to get creative. Peter is still attached to his side as he starts to assemble them.

Steve sits at the table with them as they eat.

“Papa when will it be Christmas?”

Steve pulls up a calendar on his phone. It has been the furthest thing on his mind. Complete the mission. Get home, see Tony and the kids. “It’s in two days.”

He hoped Tony had gotten things ready. He had done nothing to prepare for it.

“Can I see my mommy then?” Beverly asks innocently.

Steve is shocked by the question and he is at a loss for words.

“She’s dead,” Peter answers before Steve can formulate an answer.

“Peter!”

“What? It’s true. So is mine. You can’t see them, stupid.”

“But I’ve been good and I went to the doctor with Tony.”

Steve rubs at his eyes. Okay, they were cracking the surface of something but he didn’t want to face any of it. He needed to scold Peter for calling Beverly stupid but his mind was racing with so many other thoughts.

“What do you mean, baby?” He asks because he can’t just brush it off.

“If I do what the doctor says I get to see Mommy else I stay.”

She plucks a strawberry out of the tray and into her mouth seemingly unaffected by the conversation. Steve lets out a sigh and runs his hand through his hair that was getting too long and needed to be cut.

“You can’t baby. I’m sorry but it’s not possible.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about it,” Peter says.

“But I want to!” Beverly cries hitting her tray with her hand knocking a few blueberries loose and they roll across the table onto the floor.

“She’s being bad, she should get in trouble,” Peter complains.

“Stop for a minute,” he says to Peter before turning to his daughter. “Beverly, I need to know you understand.”

“I can’t see Mommy. Understand.”

“Can you tell me about the doctors?”

“No,” and she’s back to eating looking upset but she’s off the subject. He missed his chance to get information. They were things he didn’t want to hear or know about.

“Papa, are we going to make Christmas cookies?”

It was hard to keep up sometimes, their little minds moved so quickly. Peter was already onto something else.

“Have you made cookies with Daddy?”

Peter shakes his head. “But we decorated the Christmas tree and had hot chocolate and cookies from the store.”

“There’s candy canes on the tree and Tony said we can’t eat them yet. He got mad because I had one. It made my mouth blue,” Beverly remarks without looking up.

Steve laughs. “We will make cookies and eat candy canes until our stomachs hurt tonight.”

“Will Daddy be home?” Peter asks.

“I’m sure he’ll be home as early as he can.”

******

The waves crashed loudly as they walked down the beach. It was nowhere near as busy as in the summer, there were a few people in wetsuits surfing and an older couple walking along the beach. Steve’s two children ran around wildly in front of him. Every few minutes he was reminding them to stay back from the water and to not get too far ahead of him. The temperatures were cooler but it felt warm in the sun. He had dressed the children in long pants and jackets. Peter was already tugging at his to pull it off. Peter pauses and looks at the jacket in his hands before running back to Steve and holding it up towards him. Steve takes it without a word and shoves it into his backpack that is holding water bottles and juice boxes. 

They make it quite far down the beach when Beverly throws her jacket down and sits heavily in the sand.

“I’m tired,” she complains lying back against the sand.

Peter looks from his sister up to Steve expectantly. “You ready to stop, Pete?”

He nods up at his father who pulls the backpack off his back and pulls a blanket out of it. Steve sets up an area for them on the sand, pulling out the drinks from the bag. Steve does his best to brush all the sand off of Beverly. She’s wiggling around and trying to stand on the blanket so he’s unsuccessful in keeping sand off of their sitting area. A sense of calm that he hasn’t felt in weeks settles over him as he stretches his legs out and leans back. Listening to Peter explain a card game to his sister as he deals out cards.

Steve’s phone rings and interrupts the calm moment. He slides it out of his pocket and sees Natasha’s name flash across the screen.

“We found something,” Natasha says, not being one for social niceties. Hello, how are you? was a waste of conversation.

Steve glances towards his children as he stands up. “Pete, watch your sister. I’m going to take a phone call.”

Steve goes about twenty feet back and sits on some wooden steps leading up to a house just beyond. He could keep an eye on the two but still be out of earshot.

“On Beverly?”

“I meant what I said before. Do you really want to open that box? She doesn’t remember. We could destroy this and it would be gone.”

“There’s nothing stopping her from remembering some day. I need to know so I can help her through it.”

“It’s bad.”

Steve pinches the bridge of his nose. “Send them over.”

“Steve, you should talk to Tony and make sure you’re in a safe space when you view them. You don’t want to get stuck in the negative.”

“I’ll be fine, Nat,” he says dismissively.

“Make sure you talk to someone.”

He disconnects the call and opens some screens in privacy mode. Someone would need to be standing right behind him to see it. His heart sinks as he reads through pages and pages of lab reports. He carefully glances over at his children to make sure they’re still on the blanket playing before returning to reading. Each experiment had been orchestrated in a way that they thought could trigger the serum in her DNA. It was a cruel experiment to put a child through. Exposure to extreme temperatures and poisons. They had broken her arm to see how it would heal. Exposed her to diseases, brought her close to death and then brought her back.

“Papa!” Peter’s loud shriek interrupts him and he quickly closes everything before locking his phone.

Beverly is throwing the cards all over the place as Peter tries to pick them up. He rushes over to them Before he can even make it to them she’s running towards the water. He shouts at her and she stops turning back towards him. She walks back over to the area and Steve scolds her telling her to help Peter clean up. In a matter of minutes, everything is packed back up and they are heading towards the house. He ends up having to carry Beverly as she starts to complain about how difficult the sand is to walk through. He’s expecting Peter to put up a fuss but he just holds Steve’s hand keeps looking down at the sandy beach.

Steve is in a heightened sense of panic. His mind is racing and he’s overwhelmed, struggling to process new information but he can’t just lock himself in his room. He had his children to look after. Beverly starts squirming in his arms and asking to be let down. He waits until they walk up the path from the beach and are back on the lawn.

“I want to see the cliff,” Peter starts insisting. Tony had built this home on an impossible to build on cliff. It made for a beautiful view but it left them worried about its dangers. JARVIS kept all the doors locked so the children could never sneak out. Steve had nightmares about them falling over the cliff, their little bodies breaking over the rocks before being washed out to sea. A guardrail had been installed to help alleviate his fears. It was a thick glass that didn’t obstruct the view but prevented the children from climbing it or going over. Even still, they knew they weren’t allowed over by it without an adult.

Recently, Peter had become obsessed with the cliff. He’d beg Tony almost every night to tell him the story of how he found the property and built a house on it. Steve had heard the story so many times but part of him didn’t mind, he enjoyed seeing his son excited about it. He wished he’d just let them read him a book. Steve had been reading a book from his own childhood to Beverly. The Wind in The Willows, published in 1908, and he was very much enjoying recreating that world for her.

Steve crouches down so he’s at his kid’s level. Pointing out the things in the horizon to them. They’re excited and also scared. He can tell because they take care to stay near him and not too close to the edge. Beverly’s little hands were wrapped around his arm.

“Papa?”

“Yes, pumpkin?”

“I want to jump.”

He wraps his arm around her tiny waist, pulling her close.

Steve’s heart is beating so fast that it feels like a cartoon one beating out of his chest. He wonders if he’s having a heart-attack. If it’s even possible with the serum. His left arm didn’t hurt, it had to hurt didn’t it? 

Steve kisses her head and then pulls Peter close for the same treatment. 

“Papa, don’t kiss me!” Peter whines as he wiggles out of his grasp and stands besides him.

“Why would you want to do that?” Steve asks trying to hide the concern in his voice.

“Looks fun and there would be a big splash.”

“You’d hit the rocks,” Steve tries to explain.

“Huh?” 

“You wouldn’t make it down. You’d hit the rocks. Break all your bones,” Peter points out.

“Your brother is right. It’s very dangerous. I want you two to stay away from this area.”

Steve watches his daughter as his mind wanders back to the lab reports. One in particular and standing out. They put her in a snowy field without shoes or clothes. She had screamed and begged to be brought back inside. She was so cold that it hurt, the snow burning her sensitive feet. They brought her in and treated the burns. Observed how her body reacted to the whole ordeal. The scientist wrote about it callously in his notes. Another one where they left her in the hot sun, refusing to give her water. Again no clothing and they didn’t put any sunblock on her either. She was fair skin just like him and her poor skin had burned and blistered. She became dehydrated and blacked out before they brought her inside.

“Papa!”

“What, Pete?”

He points out towards the ocean. “I can see a boat.”

“A boat? I don’t know. It looks big enough to be a ship.”

****

It’s late by the time Tony comes home. The children have been in bed for a few hours. It’s dark and quiet in the house. The smell of gingerbread cookies is still lingering. It felt like Steve spent hours cleaning up the kitchen. He has soft music playing and the big window open. He’s sketching and staring outside.

“Hey,” Tony says sheepishly as he comes inside.

Steve had called Tony earlier saying he really needed to talk with him. Tony was in back to back meetings with stakeholders. By the time he got twenty minutes to himself he was quickly eating lunch and dinner since he never got a chance to eat earlier. He wanted to call his husband but he also needed those twenty minutes to himself to save his sanity. Then the meetings kept dragging on and something came up in the Austrailian office causing an emergency meeting to start up. He was exhausted and wanted nothing more but to collapse into bed.

Steve sets his sketchbook on the table unceremoniously and the pencil rolls off and across the table. The blond man lets out a heavy sigh.

“I needed you today. I really needed you.”

The words scare Tony and all the awful possibilities cross through his mind. He had been hurt and betrayed by those closest to him before. He loved Steve and trusted him the best a person with major trust issues could.

“I’m sorry. Are the kids already in bed? I didn’t mean to miss bedtime.”

“Yes, Tony they are. Safely tucked into their beds”

Tony’s mind goes to a dark place and he imagines them with bludgeoned faces and dead eyed, morbidly tucked into their beds. He was too tired and late at night the bad thoughts always got to him. Made it impossible to sleep. Made him think his husband was capable of being so heinous.

“I’ll check on them and then I’m all yours. We can talk about whatever you want.”

He disappears up the stairs and down the hall. His steps quick and silent as he slips into Peter’s room. His son is lying on his side, his arms wrapped around a bundle of the blanket. His messy curls splayed across his pillow, his pink mouth slightly open. Tony approaches the bed and leans down to place a kiss on his head. Once he’s satisfied that Peter is safe and sound, he makes his way to his daughter’s room.

He finds her with the blankets kicked off lying on her back. He brushes her blonde hair off her forehead and pulls up the covers around her. She whines and her brown eyes pop open looking up at him surprised. “Daddy!”

“Shh, go back to sleep honey.”

She blinks sleepily up at him and yawns. Tony kisses her and then slips out of the room.

Tony walks downstairs and joins his husband on the couch. Tony is taken aback when Steve pulls away as Tony is leaning in to kiss him.

“Are you mad at me?” Tony asks shocked.

“You couldn’t even spare five minutes for me.”

Tony scrubs his face with his hand. “Steve, I’d spare a million lifetimes for you if I could.”

Steve struggles to hold back a laugh. “What? Did you read that off the back of a romance novel?”

“I knew I could make you laugh.”

“Have to admit I’m slightly disappointed. I was gearing up for a huge fight with you. What happened to us? We used to barely be able to have a conversation.”

“Communication. Trust. Sex. Sex was a major part of it. The tension was so high. Who knew all I needed was for you to pound me—”

“Tony! It’s more than sex! You didn’t even list love.”

“I was getting to it. So what’s on your mind today?”

“They found her files. Nat did. I read through them. Just the first ten or so. Tony, it’s horrifying.”

Tony sits up and slides effortlessly onto Steve’s lap and rests his head in the crook of Steve’s neck. Steve’s arms wrap around him.

“I needed you.”

“I know but I’m here now,” Tony says softly before kissing Steve again. “You need a break from this. How long were you holed up in the office going through it?”

“Most of the day. I can’t get it out of my head.”

“How about this? I have Friday put on your favorite movie. I’ll go in the kitchen and make popcorn. The real way on the stove in a pot with some oil. Like your mother used to make. Cold glass bottles of Coca-Cola.”

“I’d like that Tony. I’d like it a lot.”

*****

Steve felt safe in Tony’s arms as they cuddled up on the couch after eating. The empty popcorn bowl and glasses of Coca-Cola sat on the coffee table. On the long months of the mission he had forgotten what real comfort felt like. Tony loved him and and in this moment that was all he needed.

“I love you,” Steve whispers against his chest. He feels Tony lean down and kiss the top of his head, he can imagine the smirk on his face.

“I love me, too,” Tony teases as he squeezes Steve in his arms.

Steve sighs. “Where would I be without my low expectations of you?”

“Pining after an 80 year old woman. You know Clint told me he thought you were fucking her behind my back.”

“Tony! Jesus! She’s married to someone else. I wouldn’t—”

“Shh, I’m only teasing.”

“But Clint thinks it. Oh, god, how many people think that?”

“Steve, it’s fine. Relax,” Tony says before slipping a hand under the waistband of Steve’s pajama pants.

“Tony!”

“What? You don’t want me to touch you?” Tony asks teasing his finger tips against Steve’s hardening penis.

Tony kisses him. “Feels good, doesn’t it?” he asks as he moves his hand up and down the length.

In the early hours of Christmas Eve, Tony makes love to his husband. Slow and gentle, trying to do what he can to pull him out of the dark place in his mind. Tony was a bottom by nature, and it wasn’t often they had sex like this. He liked to be the one on his back as Steve thrust into him. Afterward, they cuddle on the couch, before making their way to the bathroom to clean up.

*****

“Tony, I told you not to wake them up!” Steve complains in the doorway of Peter’s room. Tony is coaxing him awake, covering his small face with kisses. Telling him it’s Christmas and time to get out of bed.

Peter is sleepy, sweet, and excited about gift. Tony holds his hand as they walk into the great room. 

 

Steve carries Beverly from her room. She’s sleepy and disinterested. She’s struggles for a second when Steve places her on the couch not wanting to be put down. Her eyes go wide as she sees the gifts. A smile spreads across Steve’s face, he’s waiting for her to get excited. She climbs off the couch but doesn’t head for the tree and instead climbs under one of the side tables.

“Dad, can we start opening gifts?” Peter asks already holding one in his hands.

Beverly is gasping for air.

“Tony, something is wrong.”

“In a minute, Pete,” Tony says to Peter as he rousles his messy curls.

Tony walks over to where Beverly is at, sitting down and reaching his arm under the table. Beverly looks at him for a second watching his face. For it to be kind and welcoming? Tony isn’t sure but she does move closer, letting Tony pull her into his lap.

“Breathe with me,” He says before slowing down his breath. Talking her through the breathing exercise.

“You can count, can’t you baby?”

She nods at him, her blonde hair falling messily into her face. He pushes it back and wipes the tears from her eyes. He gets her distracted as he has her count things in the room. She’s calming down after a few minutes.

“You’re alright, baby girl,” he reassures her before kissing her cheek. “It happens to Daddy too. Feeling like the world is closing in on you?”

She nods weakly at him before lying her head against his chest.

“Papa said Mommy couldn’t come for Christmas but I really want to see her. I thought she would come.”

“Tony—”

Tony looks up at Steve and shakes his head.

“I want to open my gifts,” Peter complains.

“Daddy needs a minute,” Steve tries to explain as he hands Peter his stocking to go through.

Tony can feel her breathing in sync with him. “That’s good. Take deep belly breaths.”

“I miss my mom too,” Tony says to her.

“Your Mommy doesn’t come to Christmas either?”

“No, she can’t. Just like yours but it’s okay because I have my family here. You’re part of that.”

“Ok,” Beverly whispers back before she plops her thumb into her mouth. Tony brushes her hair behind her ear. 

Peter walks up to them with pink package in his hand. He held it out to his sister and Tony grabs it from him. 

“Santa brought you a gift, sissy.”

Tony adjusts her on his lap, pulling her thumb out of her mouth. Her big brown eyes look up at him before she sighs and pushes the present away. Tony slides the gift on to the couch before standing up with her.

“Let’s sit on the couch and watch Peter open his. You can join in when you’re ready.”

Tony places her in the middle of the couch and brings the gift closer to her. He goes into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. Listening to Peter and Steve talking excitedly as Peter decides which one to open first.

Tony returns to the room, handing one of the cups of coffee to Steve before kissing him on the lips. He sits heavily on the couch and brings the cup to his lips letting the warm liquid warm his throat as it slides down. He hears the sound of wrapping paper moving across the couch before a box hits the rug. Beverly is attached to his chest again, her little hand clasping the arc reactor.

Tony hadn’t read any of the case files, he wasn’t ready for processing that information. They knew she would have problems when they adopted her. SHIELD had walked them through everything. It had been the same with Peter, but his behaviors were immediate. Beverly was normal and well adjusted though. He found himself waiting for the other shoe to drop. And when it hadn’t he started to forget that anything bad had happened to her.

Tony wondered what Steve had said or done to trigger it in her. Or maybe she was just a kid realizing her mother wasn’t really coming back. That this home wasn’t a temporary and fun get away.

“You know what I think? Your mom would want you to open your gifts and enjoy today.”

She stays quiet and continues breathing steadily.

“Daddy? Can I have a sugar cookie?”

A smile spreads across Tony’s face hearing her not use his name and he knows there’s no way he can’t tell her no.

“Go open your gifts and I’ll grab one for you.” 

It’s a simple suggestion but it works, she’s munching on her cookie dropping crumbs all over the expensive rug as she opens each gift Steve passes to her. 

She holds out a grubby hand. “I want another one.”

Tony is already heading into the room with a pink sippy cup full of milk. She takes it reluctantly giving a look like she thinks he might be dumb. 

“I’m too old for this.”

Tony is remembering back to her spilling a full cup of milk at the dinner table all over herself and Peter.

“No, you’re not.”

She rolls her eyes at him but takes the cup.

Steve is leaning up against the wall, one knee up with his elbow resting on it, wearing boxers and a white t-shirt. He looks exhausted and like he would rather be someplace else. Tony watches him as he works on his second cup of coffee. Their children are completely occupied with opening gifts. Peter is carefully reading the names and making up piles. There’s a small one by Steve completely untouched. Peter has placed all of Tony’s gifts on the coffee table. Pepper takes the kids each year to the mall to pick something out to give to their parents and each other. It was a nice gesture and the kids liked going anywhere with Pepper.

“Steve, this one from you?” Tony asks as he picks up a thin box wrapped in white paper with glittery snowflakes on it.

“Why don’t you read the label, Tony?” Steve teases but there isn’t much behind the words like he’s going through the motions.

Tony grunts as he sits back onto the sofa. He shakes the box. “I wonder what it could be.”

Peter spares him a glance but Steve is still looking at a spot on the rug.

“Steve!”

Steve sighs and grabs his pile of gifts as he’s standing up. He drops them unceremoniously onto the coffee table and sits next to Tony letting his head rest on his shoulder. His blue eyes closing as he rests his hands on Tony’s thigh.

“When was the last time you slept?” Tony asks.

“Before Nat called.”

Tony unwraps the gift, and opens the white box pulling out a leatherbound book. He slowly flips through the pages, it’s full of sketches Steve had done this year. Candid ones of him in his lab working, making breakfast, doing research. Tony feels a blush raising up on his face as he finds one of himself sprawled across the bed, a thin sheet covering his lower half.

“I almost kept that one for myself,” Steve says softly to him.

Tony flips through more of the book to ones of Peter and Beverly. He closes the book and moves the things to the side before pulling Steve in for a kiss. He was always so perfect at gift giving. He always figured out to what to give the man who could buy anything.

Tony reaches forward to hand Steve his gift. “I know I suck at this.”

“Tony,” Steve says sternly.

Steve already knows what’s in the square blue box, a thick silvery ribbon tied around in a bow. He carefully unties it and opens the box. He slips off his watch from his left wrist and discards it on the side table. He pulls out the new one from the box. It wasn’t any old watch, it was loaded with the latest tech developed that year. This one was special though because it was made by Tony’s own hands.

“It’s always the same thing. I should think of something else,” Tony says starting to second guess his gift.

“No, no, I love it. You’ll have to show me all the new bells and whistles.”

“Papa! What did you get?” Peter asks abandoning his pile of toys to climb onto Steve’s lap.

Peter’s interested for a bit before he’s asking Steve to open his gift.

Tony smiles as he watches his family, they weren’t perfect, but he thought they had a chance at being okay. With any luck, Beverly wouldn’t remember the experiments. The wrongs Peter endured in foster care would fade away. His husband would stop brooding even though he looked quite handsome when he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was hard to write. It took a while to get how I wanted. I have some scenes I cut out from this story that I'll probably post in My Notebook - my short stories and drabbles series.
> 
> I'm planning a story after this one set when Peter and Beverly are older. I have a few chapters already written.
> 
> Please comment and let me know what you think.
> 
> Please visit my tumblr: [pinkhairnoshoes](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/pinkhairnoshoes)

**Author's Note:**

> This story is part of the [LLF Comment Project](https://longlivefeedback.tumblr.com/llfcommentproject), which was created to improve communication between readers and authors. This author invites and appreciates feedback, including:
> 
> Feedback
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>   * Short comments
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> Note: If you don’t want a reply, for any reason (sometimes I feel shy when I’m reading and not up to starting a conversation, for example), feel free to sign your comment with “whisper” and I will appreciate it but not respond!


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